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Lethal ingestion, that made me chuckle.

A fly with no wings? Sounds like fast food to me. 😌

Approximately how many licks does it really take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?

[url=]Your text to link here...[/url]All of them

What is the perfect amount of stabs in the chest

-12

how about your opinion on jump rope?

"I often mistake them with snakes." Xueqing shrugged with a trollface smile.

"What'll happen if you push a dog into an abyss?"

Meeeeeeooooooooooowwwwww….

“What is the result of the square root of -1/0?”

I'm pretty sure it's 14.5, but it does depend on the position of the sun and the moon's precise distance from the Earth, and I haven't checked those lately so I might be off by a few thousand...
What should I get my brother for his birthday?

*nuke explosion*

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY

A gun!

What should i do with my Pokédex?

"Cupcakes."

"Have you ever had a dweam where you could…umm, you could do…where you…so much that…umm, you want, you know, you want so much that you could do anything?"

"I just wanted so much Asp-p-pa...Asp-pi-pa....As-pi-p-p-.., nah, acetylsalicylic acid"


"Do you think you're possessed?

It's not a matter of if I'm possessed, but rather, who is possessing me at any given moment. So many dang ghosts and demons and things around here...
How many pets do you have, and what are they?

I have -1. It is a potat.


If you eat socks, and your favorite number in the alphabet is purple, how many waffles will you shove down the toilet?

Between 2.5-17.16.
What's the best kind of fireworks to buy?

"The one that really explodes to early, spontaneous combustion. Likely to be more thrilling"


"Your chainsaw is stuck under a 500 year Douglas-fir tree, weight approx 30000lbs (15t). You only have your swiss knife left and nobody around, what are you going to do?

Start chewing!!!
Where can I find a unicorn for adoption?

Try your local hardware store.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Three free throws….

“What is the most tasty apple in the world?”

The type with extra worms inside.
How can I bring my hot cocoa from mediocre to gourmet without breaking the bank?

Boil it until it all evaporates and drink the condensation when it forms 👍

My rainbow machine stopped working and now the leprechauns are after me. What do I do 0-0

"Oh... Uh... Leprechauns are smaller than you. Just punt them like a football? If that doesn't work they're probably collecting some of your teeth. Best of luck to ya!"




"Pardon me... I, uh... I couldn't help but notice how fancy you look. Do you, by chance... have any Grey Poupon?"

"Of course I do. I bathe in it every morning and evening."
"What's your best advice for running a successful business?"