This is mostly a lighthearted post, as I'm not truly caught up/that upset about it, I just think it's a bit sad. I was really excited for a roleplay with someone, we talked and planned out a lot - and the day after I sent the start, their entire account was nuked - closed completely, gone for good, etc, etc. I found it sort of funny, joking with my friends that the start was too powerful.
Still, in a sort of wistful way, I think about what good have been - I think we could have written something great. One day...
Anyway, for the purpose of conversation: Anyone else had sad moments like that? Like, you're not even upset or frustrated, you're just like, 'aw, man... but the vibes!'
Still, in a sort of wistful way, I think about what good have been - I think we could have written something great. One day...
Anyway, for the purpose of conversation: Anyone else had sad moments like that? Like, you're not even upset or frustrated, you're just like, 'aw, man... but the vibes!'
Oh my god yes. It was right when I'd joined, too, maybe a month after. User makes a LFRP thread and it is tailormade for me. All that and a bag of chips. I write them immediately. We go back and forth for a bit and get wildly hype. I go to bed, and the next day, they've deleted. I was a little sad, but it happens.
I get a message in my inbox two days later from that same person on a new account, explaining that they got drunk and felt awkward and nuked everything in a panic but am I still interested? Yes I am, I say, I am actually beyond stoked that they came back, hurray!
And then they deleted again.
Now. People can feel free to judge my intelligence and optimism however they like.
But if you're out there, Possibly French Law Student Dark Fantasy Enthusiast... Your idea was outstanding and I still think about it. hmu
I get a message in my inbox two days later from that same person on a new account, explaining that they got drunk and felt awkward and nuked everything in a panic but am I still interested? Yes I am, I say, I am actually beyond stoked that they came back, hurray!
And then they deleted again.
Now. People can feel free to judge my intelligence and optimism however they like.
But if you're out there, Possibly French Law Student Dark Fantasy Enthusiast... Your idea was outstanding and I still think about it. hmu
I think many of us, if not all, had that kind of moment. A moment where you feel like emptied, where you simply miss the continuity that occurred while building a relation and that one just poofs.
Yes I have at least one. Very nice plot building, a complete different approach of role-playing, emotional deep going … no word, no message anymore since over six months. Yes I miss that one, yes I would simply love to continue, and yet… that one brought me so much for that short period, it simply feels satisfying, even if it’s far, very far from finished.
No I’m not upset, still that RP stays in my mind.
It’s a weird feeling, huh?
Yes I have at least one. Very nice plot building, a complete different approach of role-playing, emotional deep going … no word, no message anymore since over six months. Yes I miss that one, yes I would simply love to continue, and yet… that one brought me so much for that short period, it simply feels satisfying, even if it’s far, very far from finished.
No I’m not upset, still that RP stays in my mind.
It’s a weird feeling, huh?
Fantax wrote:
I think many of us, if not all, had that kind of moment. A moment where you feel like emptied, where you simply miss the continuity that occurred while building a relation and that one just poofs.
Yes I have at least one. Very nice plot building, a complete different approach of role-playing, emotional deep going … no word, no message anymore since over six months. Yes I miss that one, yes I would simply love to continue, and yet… that one brought me so much for that short period, it simply feels satisfying, even if it’s far, very far from finished.
No I’m not upset, still that RP stays in my mind.
It’s a weird feeling, huh?
Yes I have at least one. Very nice plot building, a complete different approach of role-playing, emotional deep going … no word, no message anymore since over six months. Yes I miss that one, yes I would simply love to continue, and yet… that one brought me so much for that short period, it simply feels satisfying, even if it’s far, very far from finished.
No I’m not upset, still that RP stays in my mind.
It’s a weird feeling, huh?
Ahh, you get it. I've had a few situations where it just disappears, but what I did get was fantastic and I'm going to think about it for ages :^p
Bruinen wrote:
Oh my god yes. It was right when I'd joined, too, maybe a month after. User makes a LFRP thread and it is tailormade for me. All that and a bag of chips. I write them immediately. We go back and forth for a bit and get wildly hype. I go to bed, and the next day, they've deleted. I was a little sad, but it happens.
I get a message in my inbox two days later from that same person on a new account, explaining that they got drunk and felt awkward and nuked everything in a panic but am I still interested? Yes I am, I say, I am actually beyond stoked that they came back, hurray!
And then they deleted again.
Now. People can feel free to judge my intelligence and optimism however they like.
But if you're out there, Possibly French Law Student Dark Fantasy Enthusiast... Your idea was outstanding and I still think about it. hmu
I get a message in my inbox two days later from that same person on a new account, explaining that they got drunk and felt awkward and nuked everything in a panic but am I still interested? Yes I am, I say, I am actually beyond stoked that they came back, hurray!
And then they deleted again.
Now. People can feel free to judge my intelligence and optimism however they like.
But if you're out there, Possibly French Law Student Dark Fantasy Enthusiast... Your idea was outstanding and I still think about it. hmu
The double delete! I've had many a partner delete out of no where, it's always so tragic! I think a hopefulness in if they might still be there / that they'll come back is just a sign of how delightful things could have been - it's nothing on them, of course, it's just like 'wait... no... come baaaack-' lol
I'm not currently recalling an experience I've had quite like that. There's been times I've found out later on that someone I found to be pretty cool wasn't here anymore, but not immediately following or in the middle of setting stuff up.
A different experience I get somewhat regularly is finding someone cool and wanting to play with them, and reaching out and they sound into it too, and... nothing happens.
Not because anyone disappeared or anything, but because at some point in getting to know each other or planning things out or something, we apparently both manage to hit a wall where neither of us actually knows what to do next for one reason or another. Sometimes it's wanting to play but having no idea what to play (and being in places in our lives where thinking of something is hard), sometimes it's not knowing how to move from planing to playing, and sometimes I know at least for me, my dang brain starts getting in the way and stumbling over itself with silliness like "oh it took awhile for me to have time and focus to reply and I bet now I'd just be annoying them and-" 
I'm still working on it.
A different experience I get somewhat regularly is finding someone cool and wanting to play with them, and reaching out and they sound into it too, and... nothing happens.
Not because anyone disappeared or anything, but because at some point in getting to know each other or planning things out or something, we apparently both manage to hit a wall where neither of us actually knows what to do next for one reason or another. Sometimes it's wanting to play but having no idea what to play (and being in places in our lives where thinking of something is hard), sometimes it's not knowing how to move from planing to playing, and sometimes I know at least for me, my dang brain starts getting in the way and stumbling over itself with silliness like "oh it took awhile for me to have time and focus to reply and I bet now I'd just be annoying them and-" I'm still working on it.
sunshinemutt wrote:
.... I was really excited for a roleplay with someone, we talked and planned out a lot - and the day after I sent the start, their entire account was nuked - closed completely, gone for good, etc, etc....
Anyway, for the purpose of conversation: Anyone else had sad moments like that? Like, you're not even upset or frustrated, you're just like, 'aw, man... but the vibes!'
Anyway, for the purpose of conversation: Anyone else had sad moments like that? Like, you're not even upset or frustrated, you're just like, 'aw, man... but the vibes!'
I've had this very thing happen recently. It is sad, but at the end of the day I moved on, keeping my opening starter for possible use with someone else. I've also had the OOC talk/planning/ready to begin chat happen and get start sent to get no response to it even though the character/account isn't deleted. I also get silence OOC when I message after a month asking if they are still interested.
It's sad, yes, but I shrug it off with a chuckle and make sure I don't plan anything else with them in the future. It's all part of searching through the chaff to find a gem, of which I have been fortunate enough to find a few here.
What is really saddening is when you're deep into a story with a gem and they suddenly stop responding, or worse, delete themselves. Leaves me to write a conclusion to the story and move on.
Zelphyr wrote:
I'm not currently recalling an experience I've had quite like that. There's been times I've found out later on that someone I found to be pretty cool wasn't here anymore, but not immediately following or in the middle of setting stuff up.
A different experience I get somewhat regularly is finding someone cool and wanting to play with them, and reaching out and they sound into it too, and... nothing happens. Not because anyone disappeared or anything, but because at some point in getting to know each other or planning things out or something, we apparently both manage to hit a wall where neither of us actually knows what to do next for one reason or another. Sometimes it's wanting to play but having no idea what to play (and being in places in our lives where thinking of something is hard), sometimes it's not knowing how to move from planing to playing, and sometimes I know at least for me, my dang brain starts getting in the way and stumbling over itself with silliness like "oh it took awhile for me to have time and focus to reply and I bet now I'd just be annoying them and-"
I'm still working on it.
A different experience I get somewhat regularly is finding someone cool and wanting to play with them, and reaching out and they sound into it too, and... nothing happens.
Not because anyone disappeared or anything, but because at some point in getting to know each other or planning things out or something, we apparently both manage to hit a wall where neither of us actually knows what to do next for one reason or another. Sometimes it's wanting to play but having no idea what to play (and being in places in our lives where thinking of something is hard), sometimes it's not knowing how to move from planing to playing, and sometimes I know at least for me, my dang brain starts getting in the way and stumbling over itself with silliness like "oh it took awhile for me to have time and focus to reply and I bet now I'd just be annoying them and-" I'm still working on it.
I get that. My own worst enemy is overthinking things and getting jammed up in how to reply to responses.
Blues-Guy wrote:
I get that. My own worst enemy is overthinking things and getting jammed up in how to reply to responses.
I'ma just put out there that I am supportive of "bad" posts when things have gotten hung up in a spot that's tricky but also, like... not super important? And when it's at a point where trying to wait for inspiration simply isn't going to help anything. Sometimes simply calling for a time skip can get things moving along again, but sometimes that won't quite work out. So my and a few rp partners I've had have occasionally opted to send very brief and bland posts just to establish whatever was needed and get going again - often with some little bit of lampshading that seems to help a little with both clarifying it's understood the post is subpar for what we usually do and also sort of shifting frustration into a little mildly-humorous mini-vent. For example, I'm pretty sure a line very close to "because the writer couldn't think of anything else" has made it in before.
There have also been times where the solution was for the last poster to go ahead and post again, whether to elaborate on something better, to move things to an easier point to work with, etc.
Definitely helps if it's someone you've already got a well-established vibe with, though, so discussing such things doesn't end up snagging on anxiety so much.
But, uh... kinda veering off-topic. I'll try not to keep posting about, like, mid-rp coping stuff here.
Found a person who wanted to roleplay in an extremely dear fandom of mine that I don't often get to touch. Like, a plot involving one of my dearest and obscure characters. We don't get to write very far into the planned plot until they start to back out and try to pivot into a wildly different idea that I wasn't as comfortable with and gradually, even started to ignore the triggers I'd warned them about when I first met them.
Eventually, they spend less time writing at all, or even talking about their shared interests, and instead start ranting violently about ships they don't like. When I try to delicately ask them to stop, they accuse me of being a proshipper, block me on everything, and then start slandering my blog on Tumblr. Because I asked them to stop talking about fictional incest, a thing they did not like.
This isn't exactly similar to the other examples on this thread, but I think about that person a lot. Not to go into details about things they shared, but they were clearly a person going through a lot and in need of support, so I really felt for them, but I made the mistake of ignoring their red flags until it got to the point where I felt like I had been used. I saw some of myself in them, I wanted to give them the kindness I wished for myself, and instead I got dragged around and insulted by someone who bought into too much of that 'proship/antiship' garbage.
Eventually, they spend less time writing at all, or even talking about their shared interests, and instead start ranting violently about ships they don't like. When I try to delicately ask them to stop, they accuse me of being a proshipper, block me on everything, and then start slandering my blog on Tumblr. Because I asked them to stop talking about fictional incest, a thing they did not like.
This isn't exactly similar to the other examples on this thread, but I think about that person a lot. Not to go into details about things they shared, but they were clearly a person going through a lot and in need of support, so I really felt for them, but I made the mistake of ignoring their red flags until it got to the point where I felt like I had been used. I saw some of myself in them, I wanted to give them the kindness I wished for myself, and instead I got dragged around and insulted by someone who bought into too much of that 'proship/antiship' garbage.
Snipehunt wrote:
Found a person who wanted to roleplay in an extremely dear fandom of mine that I don't often get to touch. Like, a plot involving one of my dearest and obscure characters. We don't get to write very far into the planned plot until they start to back out and try to pivot into a wildly different idea that I wasn't as comfortable with and gradually, even started to ignore the triggers I'd warned them about when I first met them.
Eventually, they spend less time writing at all, or even talking about their shared interests, and instead start ranting violently about ships they don't like. When I try to delicately ask them to stop, they accuse me of being a proshipper, block me on everything, and then start slandering my blog on Tumblr. Because I asked them to stop talking about fictional incest, a thing they did not like.
This isn't exactly similar to the other examples on this thread, but I think about that person a lot. Not to go into details about things they shared, but they were clearly a person going through a lot and in need of support, so I really felt for them, but I made the mistake of ignoring their red flags until it got to the point where I felt like I had been used. I saw some of myself in them, I wanted to give them the kindness I wished for myself, and instead I got dragged around and insulted by someone who bought into too much of that 'proship/antiship' garbage.
Eventually, they spend less time writing at all, or even talking about their shared interests, and instead start ranting violently about ships they don't like. When I try to delicately ask them to stop, they accuse me of being a proshipper, block me on everything, and then start slandering my blog on Tumblr. Because I asked them to stop talking about fictional incest, a thing they did not like.
This isn't exactly similar to the other examples on this thread, but I think about that person a lot. Not to go into details about things they shared, but they were clearly a person going through a lot and in need of support, so I really felt for them, but I made the mistake of ignoring their red flags until it got to the point where I felt like I had been used. I saw some of myself in them, I wanted to give them the kindness I wished for myself, and instead I got dragged around and insulted by someone who bought into too much of that 'proship/antiship' garbage.
Ahh, I've not had this exact situation, but I do understand it. It's always so frustrating when something can work out if the other person just... was more respectful, in a sense? In general, I find it so disrespectful to try and backpedal from the initial idea, if you don't want to do it anymore, just say that!
In general it's like, if you draw the personal line at being writing partners or friends with someone because you find out an interest of theirs makes you uncomfortable, say that! I have a lot of specific boundaries and triggers that I've had to tell people 'can't do it, sorry' over... It's communication :^/ At the very least, ask, instead of accuse, and then just be like, 'I'm good' if you find out you're right. Boo.
To go so far as to try and drag you on other sites as well is always a big sign of emotional immaturity for me - I can see maybe in private venting, but doing it on a public forum is ALWAYS a red flag for me, it speaks to a level of childishness imo. I've definitely tried giving people a lot of grace only to find out it was really not the move. I used to be really concerned with the "proship/antiship" thing, and I still have some strong opinions - but I'm a grown adult now. I have things to do. I just set my personal boundaries and stick to them respectfully, because that's like... how emotional maturity works, you know?
I think a LOT of people have a lot of growing to do, and take a lot of stuff like that as a personal slight / attack, because it upsets them (in any sense, for any topic, ofc) and they don't know how to deal with it :^(
Blues-Guy wrote:
I've had this very thing happen recently. It is sad, but at the end of the day I moved on, keeping my opening starter for possible use with someone else. I've also had the OOC talk/planning/ready to begin chat happen and get start sent to get no response to it even though the character/account isn't deleted. I also get silence OOC when I message after a month asking if they are still interested.
It's sad, yes, but I shrug it off with a chuckle and make sure I don't plan anything else with them in the future. It's all part of searching through the chaff to find a gem, of which I have been fortunate enough to find a few here.
What is really saddening is when you're deep into a story with a gem and they suddenly stop responding, or worse, delete themselves. Leaves me to write a conclusion to the story and move on.
It's sad, yes, but I shrug it off with a chuckle and make sure I don't plan anything else with them in the future. It's all part of searching through the chaff to find a gem, of which I have been fortunate enough to find a few here.
What is really saddening is when you're deep into a story with a gem and they suddenly stop responding, or worse, delete themselves. Leaves me to write a conclusion to the story and move on.
Ah, the dreaded ghosting - I hate it. It's an epidemic sometimes :^p I've had so many stories just go stagnant and dead with no explanation, and I'm always left wondering what's up. But, similarly, I just gotta shrug and move along, especially if follow up messages aren't noted :^( A few starts I sent out have gotten that treatment, siiiigh, but I will find a partner, trust. I can feel it.