Hi everyone, I don't post often but lately I have been feeling very down. I have been suffering from depression for over a year now, going on 2 and while most days I am okay, others I feel really bad. Recently I had requested to rp with someone and they told me my character was dull. We argued a bit and yadda yadda. While this shouldn't have mattered to me (I know my character isn't for everyone) it has made me reflect on my characters and I feel like they are all horrible. I feel like I am a horrible writer too. I have already gone to friends for advice. They give good advice like, make someone new, try something different. I take their advice to heart but it's not helping me get around the feelings I have currently. How do you get past feeling like what you do doesn't suck? I guess I am looking for advice on how to get past feeling sorry for myself, if that makes sense. I used to think of myself as a fairly decent rper, but that person just kind of broke me when it shouldn't have effected me. I want to believe that my characters are interesting and that my writing style is okay, but right now I question everything. I'm not really looking for advice on how to improve my characters. I already got that advice today from a friend and its sound advice. I am looking for advice on how to deal with emotions that are causing me to feel negative about everything. Thank you for anyone who offers advice
It is exceedingly difficult to think your way past negative feelings, since you probably already know that they are likely not true. Whether they are true or not isn't really the point, most of the time, it's the feeling itself that is the problem. Can I ask -- what have you been doing to manage your depression for the last two years?
I'm really sorry to hear that Reeno 
I can appreciate what you're saying since I've been in such a pickle myself. What I do personally, is just find something to distract myself with. Now, from what I gather (trust me, I'm no expert) you should experiment a little on what is best for treating your symptoms. You could try reading, or going outside for some sun (yeah, fat chance that is happening where I am XP). Hell, if you're into video games, play something you enjoy! One thing you're doing right at the moment is reaching out. Venting to me is very effective and simply saying what's on your mind (or writing it on a piece of paper or talking to a trusted person) can be quite beneficial. Is there anything else you wish to speak about while I'm here?
I can appreciate what you're saying since I've been in such a pickle myself. What I do personally, is just find something to distract myself with. Now, from what I gather (trust me, I'm no expert) you should experiment a little on what is best for treating your symptoms. You could try reading, or going outside for some sun (yeah, fat chance that is happening where I am XP). Hell, if you're into video games, play something you enjoy! One thing you're doing right at the moment is reaching out. Venting to me is very effective and simply saying what's on your mind (or writing it on a piece of paper or talking to a trusted person) can be quite beneficial. Is there anything else you wish to speak about while I'm here?
I've been watching your characters from the sideline for quite a while now and if it's any consolation, I think they're great :>
You aren't going to create something that will appeal to every single person. It's impossible! Think of your favourite books or movies - and even your favourite characters within those works. I guarantee you know somebody out there who doesn't like them! That doesn't make them any less good, nor does it make your opinion any less valid!
They probably should of phrased their declination more politely, but it's better to avoid the RP all together than RP with somebody who isn't really into it. (Besides, if they're rude upfront, they might have been an unpleasant player during the game.)
Perhaps you could write some short stories about your characters. It's a way to keep in practice with your writing, spend some time rediscovering your passion for them, and maybe learn more about them!
You aren't going to create something that will appeal to every single person. It's impossible! Think of your favourite books or movies - and even your favourite characters within those works. I guarantee you know somebody out there who doesn't like them! That doesn't make them any less good, nor does it make your opinion any less valid!
They probably should of phrased their declination more politely, but it's better to avoid the RP all together than RP with somebody who isn't really into it. (Besides, if they're rude upfront, they might have been an unpleasant player during the game.)
Perhaps you could write some short stories about your characters. It's a way to keep in practice with your writing, spend some time rediscovering your passion for them, and maybe learn more about them!
Kim wrote:
It is exceedingly difficult to think your way past negative feelings, since you probably already know that they are likely not true. Whether they are true or not isn't really the point, most of the time, it's the feeling itself that is the problem. Can I ask -- what have you been doing to manage your depression for the last two years?
I go jogging. Besides that I don't really do anything else. I found running in the morning or going on walks with good music help me calm down. Unfortunately is late so I can't exactly do that. I am in a foreign country with no health insurance so I cannot really go and get proper medication to deal with it, so I have been dealing with it solo all this time.
JohnAtArms wrote:
I'm really sorry to hear that Reeno
I can appreciate what you're saying since I've been in such a pickle myself. What I do personally, is just find something to distract myself with. Now, from what I gather (trust me, I'm no expert) you should experiment a little on what is best for treating your symptoms. You could try reading, or going outside for some sun (yeah, fat chance that is happening where I am XP). Hell, if you're into video games, play something you enjoy! One thing you're doing right at the moment is reaching out. Venting to me is very effective and simply saying what's on your mind (or writing it on a piece of paper or talking to a trusted person) can be quite beneficial. Is there anything else you wish to speak about while I'm here? :)Yeah I try to keep myself busy playing games. I had my favorite game running most of today but it just didn't work for me today. Thats why I posted this whole thing. Most of the time I can eat something or play something to get my mind of whats bothering me, but today is just awful. I will keep you in mind if I want to start venting again. Thank you for your kindness
I can appreciate what you're saying since I've been in such a pickle myself. What I do personally, is just find something to distract myself with. Now, from what I gather (trust me, I'm no expert) you should experiment a little on what is best for treating your symptoms. You could try reading, or going outside for some sun (yeah, fat chance that is happening where I am XP). Hell, if you're into video games, play something you enjoy! One thing you're doing right at the moment is reaching out. Venting to me is very effective and simply saying what's on your mind (or writing it on a piece of paper or talking to a trusted person) can be quite beneficial. Is there anything else you wish to speak about while I'm here? :)Yeah I try to keep myself busy playing games. I had my favorite game running most of today but it just didn't work for me today. Thats why I posted this whole thing. Most of the time I can eat something or play something to get my mind of whats bothering me, but today is just awful. I will keep you in mind if I want to start venting again. Thank you for your kindness
Claine wrote:
've been watching your characters from the sideline for quite a while now and if it's any consolation, I think they're great :>
You aren't going to create something that will appeal to every single person. It's impossible! Think of your favourite books or movies - and even your favourite characters within those works. I guarantee you know somebody out there who doesn't like them! That doesn't make them any less good, nor does it make your opinion any less valid!
They probably should of phrased their declination more politely, but it's better to avoid the RP all together than RP with somebody who isn't really into it. (Besides, if they're rude upfront, they'll might have been an unpleasant player during the game.)
Perhaps you could write some of your own fiction about your characters. It's a way to keep in practice with your writing, and some time rediscovering your passion for them, and maybe learn more about them!
You aren't going to create something that will appeal to every single person. It's impossible! Think of your favourite books or movies - and even your favourite characters within those works. I guarantee you know somebody out there who doesn't like them! That doesn't make them any less good, nor does it make your opinion any less valid!
They probably should of phrased their declination more politely, but it's better to avoid the RP all together than RP with somebody who isn't really into it. (Besides, if they're rude upfront, they'll might have been an unpleasant player during the game.)
Perhaps you could write some of your own fiction about your characters. It's a way to keep in practice with your writing, and some time rediscovering your passion for them, and maybe learn more about them!
No worries. I might not be as reliable as a trained medical professional, but I'm still here. Hang in there 
For a long time, the primary thing that's been helping me get through the worst periods is remembering that it is temporary, that I will be able to enjoy things again, even if I know down-swings are also in the future. Talking to friends also helps, even if they can't offer any input. Often, simply putting things into words is enough to get a better handle on them. If taking helps, you might even explain to a friend, "I don't need advice, I just want your attention for a bit." And I know that that, too, can get hard - you might start feeling like you're complaining too much. If you feel that way, understand first that the person is choosing to listen to you, and second that it is better to thank them than to apologize to them (it's hard, but it really is better).
Possibly relevant... I still have our RP sitting in my inbox. I actually keep them marked unread to bring my attention to them better, even though I'm not too great about letting people know that I still intend to respond (and I'm sorry it's been so long!). I have maintained that intention though (I planned to send it with a note that it's up to you if you want to carry it further), and have enjoyed both the RP and your character. I just... generally haven't been very active here lately, and all my RPs are functionally on hold.
*offers hugs*
Possibly relevant... I still have our RP sitting in my inbox. I actually keep them marked unread to bring my attention to them better, even though I'm not too great about letting people know that I still intend to respond (and I'm sorry it's been so long!). I have maintained that intention though (I planned to send it with a note that it's up to you if you want to carry it further), and have enjoyed both the RP and your character. I just... generally haven't been very active here lately, and all my RPs are functionally on hold.
*offers hugs*
My apologies!! I know these sorts of waters and the vessels that tread them very well. That isn't to ever suggest that I know your struggle as we all walk, swim, fly different paths.
I would whole heartedly and honestly suggest a medical professional. I'm the sort of person who has and probably always will refuse that sort of venture, but I know it's the right choice to make.
Beyond that, I usually try to assuage whatever emotion I'm feeling if it's negative and will lead to a negative outcome. I can feel utterly disheartened or depressed or even angry about something that many others would find silly. Of course, what we consider dear/an issue shouldn't be invalidated by others (that can usually exacerbate the issue) but it can be compared with how others may think about it in comparison to a, going to use that icky word which seldom produces anything of any use, "normal" response. It could help or it could not. It's a risk, but it has helped me out a lot to calm myself by thinking things like "it's not as big of a problem as you think it is" even though, oh GOD, it feels like the end of the world (assuming it actually isn't).
Since your issue seems to be emotionally based, instead of stimuli-response (the emotion evoked) based. I don't have much for that except that it's very hard for me to control emotions that erupt because it's Tuesday or whatever. I usually go for a higher intensity run or listen to music (which, again, can really affect you in either direction).
I hope that helps even if it's just a little..
I would whole heartedly and honestly suggest a medical professional. I'm the sort of person who has and probably always will refuse that sort of venture, but I know it's the right choice to make.
Beyond that, I usually try to assuage whatever emotion I'm feeling if it's negative and will lead to a negative outcome. I can feel utterly disheartened or depressed or even angry about something that many others would find silly. Of course, what we consider dear/an issue shouldn't be invalidated by others (that can usually exacerbate the issue) but it can be compared with how others may think about it in comparison to a, going to use that icky word which seldom produces anything of any use, "normal" response. It could help or it could not. It's a risk, but it has helped me out a lot to calm myself by thinking things like "it's not as big of a problem as you think it is" even though, oh GOD, it feels like the end of the world (assuming it actually isn't).
Since your issue seems to be emotionally based, instead of stimuli-response (the emotion evoked) based. I don't have much for that except that it's very hard for me to control emotions that erupt because it's Tuesday or whatever. I usually go for a higher intensity run or listen to music (which, again, can really affect you in either direction).
I hope that helps even if it's just a little..
Novalyyn wrote:
For a long time, the primary thing that's been helping me get through the worst periods is remembering that it is temporary, that I will be able to enjoy things again, even if I know down-swings are also in the future. Talking to friends also helps, even if they can't offer any input. Often, simply putting things into words is enough to get a better handle on them. If taking helps, you might even explain to a friend, "I don't need advice, I just want your attention for a bit." And I know that that, too, can get hard - you might start feeling like you're complaining too much. If you feel that way, understand first that the person is choosing to listen to you, and second that it is better to thank them than to apologize to them (it's hard, but it really is better).
Possibly relevant... I still have our RP sitting in my inbox. I actually keep them marked unread to bring my attention to them better, even though I'm not too great about letting people know that I still intend to respond (and I'm sorry it's been so long!). I have maintained that intention though (I planned to send it with a note that it's up to you if you want to carry it further), and have enjoyed both the RP and your character. I just... generally haven't been very active here lately, and all my RPs are functionally on hold.
*offers hugs*
Possibly relevant... I still have our RP sitting in my inbox. I actually keep them marked unread to bring my attention to them better, even though I'm not too great about letting people know that I still intend to respond (and I'm sorry it's been so long!). I have maintained that intention though (I planned to send it with a note that it's up to you if you want to carry it further), and have enjoyed both the RP and your character. I just... generally haven't been very active here lately, and all my RPs are functionally on hold.
*offers hugs*
I was doing that last night and what I have bolded in your reply is really important. I kept apologizing and really at that point, I was just feeling more sorry for myself. Because woe is me, I'm just bringing you down too, instead of 'hey, you know, this probably isn't how you imagined spending your saturday night, but thanks for letting me vent to you.' Talking for me helps, and once my husband came home and I had someone to physically talk to, things got a little better. I think my biggest issue is, caring what people think of me far too much. I want my characters to be the bestest ever! Well, everyone wants that, but thats an impossible achievement. So I have been telling myself to just keep working on my characters and they will only get even better over time. All of them have come a loooong way from their initial creations. It's like artwork, as long as you keep drawing, you get better.
And I completely understand Nova, I knew you were working on nanowrimo(I think) so I wasn't going to bug you because I know you'll get back to me when you are able. So take your time, reply when you feel the time is right. I am not going anywhere, since I am on this site all day lol.
Der_Anna wrote:
My apologies!! I know these sorts of waters and the vessels that tread them very well. That isn't to ever suggest that I know your struggle as we all walk, swim, fly different paths.
I would whole heartedly and honestly suggest a medical professional. I'm the sort of person who has and probably always will refuse that sort of venture, but I know it's the right choice to make.
Beyond that, I usually try to assuage whatever emotion I'm feeling if it's negative and will lead to a negative outcome. I can feel utterly disheartened or depressed or even angry about something that many others would find silly. Of course, what we consider dear/an issue shouldn't be invalidated by others (that can usually exacerbate the issue) but it can be compared with how others may think about it in comparison to a, going to use that icky word which seldom produces anything of any use, "normal" response. It could help or it could not. It's a risk, but it has helped me out a lot to calm myself by thinking things like "it's not as big of a problem as you think it is" even though, oh GOD, it feels like the end of the world (assuming it actually isn't).
Since your issue seems to be emotionally based, instead of stimuli-response (the emotion evoked) based. I don't have much for that except that it's very hard for me to control emotions that erupt because it's Tuesday or whatever. I usually go for a higher intensity run or listen to music (which, again, can really affect you in either direction).
I hope that helps even if it's just a little..
I would whole heartedly and honestly suggest a medical professional. I'm the sort of person who has and probably always will refuse that sort of venture, but I know it's the right choice to make.
Beyond that, I usually try to assuage whatever emotion I'm feeling if it's negative and will lead to a negative outcome. I can feel utterly disheartened or depressed or even angry about something that many others would find silly. Of course, what we consider dear/an issue shouldn't be invalidated by others (that can usually exacerbate the issue) but it can be compared with how others may think about it in comparison to a, going to use that icky word which seldom produces anything of any use, "normal" response. It could help or it could not. It's a risk, but it has helped me out a lot to calm myself by thinking things like "it's not as big of a problem as you think it is" even though, oh GOD, it feels like the end of the world (assuming it actually isn't).
Since your issue seems to be emotionally based, instead of stimuli-response (the emotion evoked) based. I don't have much for that except that it's very hard for me to control emotions that erupt because it's Tuesday or whatever. I usually go for a higher intensity run or listen to music (which, again, can really affect you in either direction).
I hope that helps even if it's just a little..
I will be seeking out some medical assistance when I am able to get permanent residence!Assuming I still need it then. Thank you for your input. I usually recognize that I am acting ridiculous after the worst of my fit is over but I can't seem to stop. I was explaining that to my husband last night because he didn't understand why I was crying. I said 'I know my characters are fine, I just cant stop the feelings that are telling me I suck. That is causing me to act like this and I cannot help it'. I'm not really sure how I pulled through it. I just left my computer and sat and watched some tv and went to bed.
Today I am doing better and I appear to be back to normal. I really hate feeling like that. It's not a nice way to spend an evening alone.
Ill will is a bit like being sick. When you're sick, how can you taste your food? You need to learn to love more! It's a bit like this.
If you're cold, you go to a heater. If you're a heater you never get cold.
:o
If you're cold, you go to a heater. If you're a heater you never get cold.
:o
Blatherdrift wrote:
Ill will is a bit like being sick. When you're sick, how can you taste your food? You need to learn to love more! It's a bit like this.
If you're cold, you go to a heater. If you're a heater you never get cold.
:o
If you're cold, you go to a heater. If you're a heater you never get cold.
:o
Lol you make some good points :p
I'm sorry to hear about all that. It's a terrible thing when things get to you unwillingly. Depression is a hard topic, and I've been lucky in life that I don't experience it often. I'm not sure how much help my advise will be, but rest assured, if you do ever feel down and need a good chat, you know where to find me!
It might not be applicable, but the thing I tend to do when I'm feeling down is distract myself. Doesn't matter how, whether it's trying out something new, or simply taking a walk and contemplate life, or just share terrible jokes with friends, whatever will lighten the mood a little. To be reminded there's still some good and beauty in the world tends to lift my spirits right up, even if it is for a little while, it's a little while where life is meaningful again.
I hope that helps at least somewhat. It might have already been suggested as well, but no matter. I'll gladly echo the advise.
It might not be applicable, but the thing I tend to do when I'm feeling down is distract myself. Doesn't matter how, whether it's trying out something new, or simply taking a walk and contemplate life, or just share terrible jokes with friends, whatever will lighten the mood a little. To be reminded there's still some good and beauty in the world tends to lift my spirits right up, even if it is for a little while, it's a little while where life is meaningful again.
I hope that helps at least somewhat. It might have already been suggested as well, but no matter. I'll gladly echo the advise.
So I want to assure you of something. I have no personal experience with mental illness, but I have plenty with feeling like everything I do is terribad.
Talk to any hobby writer, any professional writer, and most roleplayers here, and you should find that everyone goes through what you're feeling. I am not saying this to try and invalidate what you're feeling. Quite the opposite. I want you to know that sudden, crippling doubt about one's ability and the validity of what they say is a shared experience, and has absolutely nothing to do with something being "wrong" with you.
Now, it may be that your depression exacerbates the problem. Sounds like it does by the way you're describing it. One thing that I think it's important to remember: depression is about chemicals in your brain. It's a medical issue and you are NOT WEAK for having these feelings. The organ causing the problem (your brain) needs treatment, and I truly hope you get it soon. Personal strategies, hobbies, and habits are definitely an important part of the healing process and it sounds like you're approaching that in a good way. But sometimes the body needs treatment.
Illness as a battle is a very popular narrative. It's also a very toxic one. It plays the victim of an illness as a soldier and blames them for "losing" -- that's crap. Find strength where you can and take things at your own pace.
Talk to any hobby writer, any professional writer, and most roleplayers here, and you should find that everyone goes through what you're feeling. I am not saying this to try and invalidate what you're feeling. Quite the opposite. I want you to know that sudden, crippling doubt about one's ability and the validity of what they say is a shared experience, and has absolutely nothing to do with something being "wrong" with you.
Now, it may be that your depression exacerbates the problem. Sounds like it does by the way you're describing it. One thing that I think it's important to remember: depression is about chemicals in your brain. It's a medical issue and you are NOT WEAK for having these feelings. The organ causing the problem (your brain) needs treatment, and I truly hope you get it soon. Personal strategies, hobbies, and habits are definitely an important part of the healing process and it sounds like you're approaching that in a good way. But sometimes the body needs treatment.
Illness as a battle is a very popular narrative. It's also a very toxic one. It plays the victim of an illness as a soldier and blames them for "losing" -- that's crap. Find strength where you can and take things at your own pace.
Thank you Rynh, you always are my favorite person to talk to when I am feeling down. You back me up when I need it!
Thank you Ben for your input, it helps ^^ Its hard to remember when you are feeling bad that its the chemicals going off causing you to feel this way. But its something I have to learn to struggle with until I can get the help I need.
I am doing better again. Just some days I get hit really hard for no reason and its incredibly frustrating when I work on getting better for so long.
Thank you Ben for your input, it helps ^^ Its hard to remember when you are feeling bad that its the chemicals going off causing you to feel this way. But its something I have to learn to struggle with until I can get the help I need.
I am doing better again. Just some days I get hit really hard for no reason and its incredibly frustrating when I work on getting better for so long.
Sanne has this wonderful group named Here For You. I didn't see anyone mention it, so that's why I bring it.
It has helped me through some really dark patches, just posting in there. I don't do it expecting a reply, but when I get replies (usually always from Sanne) it gives me a little bit of hope that I'm not really alone.
It has helped me through some really dark patches, just posting in there. I don't do it expecting a reply, but when I get replies (usually always from Sanne) it gives me a little bit of hope that I'm not really alone.