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hey, so, this is only my sixth public character on my account, name of Ryuu Takeshi...

if some of the terms or words confuse you, yeah, he's not 100% human, so... be aware of that.

ANYWAY, what do you guys think of Ryuu? I think, for a brand new experimental character he's ok as a rough draft, but I wanna know what you guys think, thoughts or suggestions are appreciated. <3
Henlo Lycanhoth! I've seen Ryuu's profile and thought to give my two cents on it, if that's alright?

First thing I noticed for Ryuu is some confusion, for me at least, about his general information; "the opposite counterpart to Axel Van Deriz, meaning Ryuu was born to a human woman who, during a lonely night, had a night with her pet Draco, once he grew a bit to handle himself, he was released in the forest.", though focusing mainly on the last part here, on who exactly is being mentioned after "during a lonely night". Is it Ryuu or whoever got the human woman pregnant with Ryuu?

An easy fix for that would probably be to clarify who either by name ( Ryuu or a random name to the father ) or stating 'son' or 'father'- but that's completely up to you of course!

Second thing I found a bit odd was in the Draco-Sapien specific general information where it starts off with saying, "another example of unusual circumstances in the new world,", which is a bit strange since it's the only mention of unusual circumstances in Ryuu's ( or Axel's ) profile.

It's nothing wrong obviously, but just stating "Two unusual and/or rare circumstances found in the New World,", and then continuing with the rest would fit together a bit better! Once again though, it's up to you!

Everything else I want to point out is most likely due to it being a rough draft- so that's all for suggestions from me!

Though I, personally, would like to see more of what that world might be like somewhere; like if there's other breeds, or how society functions as a whole, or how the government/laws have changed, basically just world-building stuff but that's entirely my own curiosity wanting to know more!

( and a side note for Axel; there's next to no story connected to him, though I'm not sure if that was intentional or not- just thought to mention! )

I hope these suggestions/notes help in some way and I hope you take no offence of any of it! Good luck with Ryuu being an experimental character!

Thank you for your time, your consideration, and for reading! <3
Wait this woman got impregnated by a lizard?
He seems really fun to RP with, great job with him!


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