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Let's see.

Bribery. Unlikely, but let's see what really happened.


In the heart of Waterdeep, there was an inn known for its lively atmosphere and enchanting music. The innkeeper, a beautiful drow named Dianella, was renowned for her bright auburn hair and her knack for getting what she wanted, often through rather unconventional means.

One day, Dianella had a peculiar idea. She wanted her inn to be recognized as the “Official Home of the Waterdeep Kazoo Orchestra.” The problem? There was no such orchestra, and kazoos were generally considered more of a nuisance than a musical instrument.

Determined, Dianella decided to approach the Open Lord of Waterdeep, Lady Laeral Silverhand. She knew it would take more than just charm to convince the powerful and wise Laeral, so she devised a plan.

Dianella arrived at the palace with a basket of the finest elven wine and a beautifully crafted kazoo made of silver. She was ushered into Lady Laeral’s presence, who greeted her with a curious smile.

“Diana, what brings you here today?” Lady Laeral asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

Dianella bowed gracefully. “My Lady, I have a humble request. I wish for my inn to be declared the ‘Official Home of the Waterdeep Kazoo Orchestra.’ In return, I offer you this exquisite elven wine and a custom-made silver kazoo.”

Lady Laeral raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “A kazoo orchestra, you say? And what exactly is the purpose of this orchestra?”

Dianella grinned. “To bring joy and laughter to the people of Waterdeep, of course! Imagine the delight of hearing a kazoo rendition of ‘The Ballad of the Silver Hand’ echoing through the streets.”

Lady Laeral couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the idea. “And you believe this will enhance the cultural fabric of our city?”

“Absolutely, my Lady,” Dianella replied with a wink. “Plus, think of the tourism it could bring. People from all over Faerûn would flock to hear the legendary Waterdeep Kazoo Orchestra.”

Lady Laeral took a sip of the elven wine, savoring its rich flavor. “Well, I must admit, this is one of the more unusual requests I’ve received. But I see no harm in it. Consider it done.”

Dianella clapped her hands in delight. “Thank you, my Lady! You won’t regret it.”

And so, with a decree from Lady Laeral Silverhand, the “Official Home of the Waterdeep Kazoo Orchestra” was established. The citizens were baffled but entertained, and Dianella's inn became even more popular, with guests eager to witness the comical performances, usually by Diana herself, and no orchestra at all.

As for Lady Laeral, she kept the silver kazoo on her desk as a reminder of the most amusing bribe she had ever accepted. And Dianella? She continued to run her inn with a twinkle in her eye and a talent for turning the most ridiculous ideas into reality.

Alas, it seems I must endure imprisonment.

"Ah yes, a regrettable instance magister, but the alternatives were far less appealing therefore I was in tacit agreement to this larcenous venture, which I should mention was not entirely appealing to myself either, but there was more than just value of a monetary sort at stake, nevertheless, justice is justice and if I am to serve a sentence then so be it"

Here we go

Try that again…

….yeah that checks out

"Okay, here we go…"

EDIT: "I'll do it again, just watch me."

She blinked a few times and tilted her head at the one attempting to arrest her. "Murder is such a harsh word... I'd call it proactive self-defense. Let's be honest—those guys were going to kill me eventually. So, as an honest queen, I simply took the initiative and killed that one," she said, pointing at the battlefield. "And that one... and that one... that one over there... That one isn’t mine, though. But I must say, lovely axe work."


(10- murder)

Dusha tossed the dice across the table.

ROLL EDIT:
Technically he wouldn't be arrested for this in his universe, because he is a warrior and slays monsters.


(I don't think this goes past a PG-13 rating, but if it does, let me know and I'll just copy-paste it to Dusha's profile for those who really want to read it.)

🎶 Murder was the case that they gave me 🎶




Justice stood before the broken body, his heavy shoulders sagging as a tremendous breath left him.

It was over for now, but with the sirens wailing in the distance and their lights too far away to see but too close for comfort, Justice knew the heat would bear down on him eventually. But it wasn't the law he was concerned about.
He could prepare for that. It was the sniper he didn't see, or the random stranger walking by to knife him in the heart that had him worried.

He feared it was going to be a deadly autumn.

(Yeah, that just about checks out 😩)

---

Normally, Aris wasn’t the destructive type. Instead, she preferred to take out her stress by flaming other people on Minecraft. But alas, she decided to go back to her old bad, teenage habits and go cause some mischief in her old home town.

Which involved egging a car of a neighbor that she didn’t particularly like. But when you have an alien parasite that gave you some freakish strength whenever you needed it… or whenever he wanted to…

Aris was left standing there in shock as one of the eggs that she chucked had broken the front window of the car. As expected, the car alarm went off and shortly after, the lights of the owner’s house flickered on.

As if things couldn’t have gotten worse, a familiar shrill of a siren and blue and red lights went off from the next street over. There was a quick attempt to flee the scene, but Aris’ short legs couldn’t outrun the police officer.

Thus, her night could’ve been spent playing her silly little block game, but alas, she found herself in a dingy jail cell. Aris was livid, especially towards O'pharoth, who found the whole thing absolutely hilarious.

Let us see here. Oh goodness. Very much impossible.

---

"Officer I swear, I thought I turned the oven off! I didn't burn down my home on purpose." He drug her along anyway.

"Sure, and you don't have fancy home insurance to pay for it either. The fire that conveniently burned half the house down when you and all your pets weren't home." She looked pitiable. Her cat was at the groomers and her dog was with her at the park. It was just a coincidence. "And you're behind on the mortgage, hoping a payout will pull you from the edge I'd bet." He added placing a hand on her head and pushing her into the car.

"I forgot about the lemon rolls I was baking." She said to herself in the car, the police radio up front was the static background noise that accompanied her quiet tears.

Kai was walking down the side walk on his way home from visiting his parents, he didn't have a vehicle because he thought walking would be much more healthier for him, Kai looked and saw the cross walk, but it was so far he sighed as he didn't want to walk that far, his house was literally across the street, but he would have to walk all the way down to the cross walk, cross over, and walk back the way he came but on the other side of the street to get to his house "fuck it..." he mumbled, he looked both ways, and saw no cars coming, but he didn't see the cop car that was hiding on the corner of the street. He ran across the street, and smiled when he got to the other side.

When he heard the police sirens he froze and sighed "dammit!" the cop parked in front of his house and got out of his car "son your under arrest for jaywalking" Kai decided to make a run for it, he ran to his front door and fumbled for his keys, struggling from the rush of adrenaline that he was feeling "oh we got ourself a runner?!" the cop ran after him and pushed him against the door, wrapped kai's arms around his back and handcuffed him "buddy it would've been easier just to go with it, not try and run off!" kai rolled his eyes, and the officer yanked him towards the cop car, and opened the door "get in!" he pushed kai down into the seat, and slammed the door shut. Kai grumbled things all the way to the station, which the cop heard some of it, which didn't help kai's case.

Okay.. Got a 5. Bribery. Fun. Sounds like her, though.

{·~ Fawkes ~·}
{April 21st}

Fawkes wasn't commonly known as the "criminal" type. To her, at least. To others?

Yes.

Was she crazy? Maybe. Evil? Mostly. Mean as heck? I mean, yeah. It was all to cover up her sadness. But she wasn't here to think about that. She was here to.. get a necklace. A necklace for herself. For her birthday.

Sure, buying a necklace for your OWN birthday was a bit.. wrong. But she had nobody to give her something. Who would be her friend? Nobody. Not even her would be her own friend. Fawkes was just like that. So, she came here, to her favorite place to go: Jewels Rule.

Bad name, right? Well, Fawkes thought so, too, but she didn't choose it. She huffed and pushed open the swinging door. A tiny bell jingled above her and she clenched her jaw. That bell was annoying as shit. She walked up to the counter and gestured the owner over. The owner nodded. "Hey." Fawkes said in a low voice. "I'll give you something better than money if you give me a necklace right now."

The owner frowned. "And what might that be?" They asked. Fawkes looked off in the distance. Of course, she didn't know what it was. She always came up with plans and put them to action before actually thinking about them. Like, always.

Fawkes blinked twice and her gaze slid back to the owner. "You'll have to find out. Just give me the damn necklace." She said through gritted teeth. The bell jingled again but she didn't glance over to see who it was. The owner shook their head. "Sorry, kid, find someone else to bribe." They said and adjusted an open box of a ring.

Fawkes slammed her fist on the table. "I told you, I'll give ya somethin' if you give me a necklace." She repeated and raised an eyebrow. "Just give it to me." A second later, she felt cold breath behind her. She turned and saw--

Oh crap.
A police officer.

Double crap.
DOUBLE officers.

Fawkes lifted her arms and shrugged. "What happened, officers?" She asked calmly as if she wasn't just threatening the shop owner 5 seconds ago. One of the officers, a male, sighed. "Miss, you wete bribing." He muttered. Fawkes raised an eyebrow. "Yes, and?" She asked, leaning her head forward as if there was no point to doing this. The other officer, female, held out her palm. "You're under arrest. For bribing." She said coldly.

Fawkes groaned internally. "But I'm only 16. You can't arrest me." She scoffed and lowered her arms. The female officer yanked Fawkes's wrists and bounded them in a pair of hand cuffs. "Yes, we can. We can send you to the kiddy jail." She teased and led Fawkes out the door. The male officer stumbled on a broken floor tile and followed.

Fawkes shook her head. Another day, another crime. She thought to herself.

"Uh oh, what'd I do?"

3.) Disorderly Conduct


In Cedar's defense, they weren't trying to disturb the peace and were just trying to err on the side of caution (if you could even call it that).

...Granted, it was pretty hard to explain to local law enforcement why they were yelling at monsters in the bushes and wacking them with their broomstick in a dimension where nobody believes in monsters.

7.) Theft

---

Sadie recently got arrested for stealing a microwave. “I mean, I thought the guy at the checkout had handled it,” she said to the officer. When the officer decided to push further, she scoffed and demanded, “I won't speak further until my lawyer is present.”

Edit: ...Murder... Okay... I was envisioning some silly scenes for a few of these but I'm not sure what to say for this one. It wouldn't happen. Guess they were framed or mistakenly accused for some other reason. And the scene would most likely only involve them crying and panicking because they got accused of murder, sooooo... That's no fun

Luca was arrested for assault following a violent altercation that drew the attention of both bystanders and law enforcement. The incident began as a tense confrontation with an individual involved in criminal activity, or perhaps someone threatening someone Luca cared about, but quickly escalated when words failed and fists flew.

Witnesses claimed he struck the other person repeatedly, leaving visible injuries, and though Luca insisted it was self-defense, the damage and the intensity of his retaliation went beyond what the law would consider reasonable. Police arrived on the scene amid chaos, finding Luca still tense, ready to continue the fight, and with few signs that he intended to de-escalate. His reputation for being unpredictable, combined with the severity of the injuries, led to immediate detention, leaving him facing assault charges while the investigation determined whether his actions were justified or punishable.

9: Arson.
...
"Look, I didn't mean to set it on fire. It isn't my fault the place was so flammable... Or that I got distracted while a candle was lit. How did it even- ...Come on, you can't charge me for this. Nobody even got hurt, so it's fine, right?"
...
Of all my characters, this guy is probably the most likely to commit arson on purpose... But this time, he didn't. Just a little reading by candlelight gone wrong.

Rolled...a 7.

Surprising but not out of the question. When you go after the rich and powerful they tend to show off their most valuable assets. Most of the time they wont be needing them after they've met me. Thankfully, the police haven't found the body. I got off easy considering.

Let’s see what I did.👀

——-
Charge: DUI (Divinely Unworldly Intoxication)

Officer’s Report: “Ma’am… are you aware your wings are glowing and you’re flying upside down?”
——

🚔The flashing lights of a patrol car reflected off the clouds as Kyria hovered, crookedly, in the airspace above a quiet country road. She wasn’t drunk, not in the earthly sense. But the fermented nectar she had shared with a group of enchanted forest spirits at their moonlit gathering? Let’s just say it didn’t quite mix well with angelic biology.

As she giggled softly and tried to right herself mid-air, she barely noticed the officer stepping out of the cruiser, craning his neck to look up.

🌗“I was just celebrating the moon,” she explained sweetly, swaying in the air and hugging a sleepy squirrel who’d hitched a ride in her hair. “He said I was his goddess and offered me moon-honey. I didn’t want to be rude.”

🪽Back at the station, she sat on the edge of the bench, wings fluffed and halo slightly askew, offering cookies from her satchel to the grumpy desk sergeant.

🌻In the dim glow of the holding cell, she plucked a stray sunflower from her pouch. It was somehow still perfectly golden. She gently tucked it into the crack of the cement wall near the barred window. It didn’t belong here. Neither did she. But she left it anyway, just in case someone might need its beauty. Besides, it was her favorite flower. Perhaps someone she knew would see it and come to her rescue.

“Are DUIs still a thing if I wasn’t in a car? I was technically flying… with purpose.”

Kiyo could have never thought of doing this, taking a life to save another. She was not monster, she did not relish the fact that someone had to die just so she could protect the people she cared about, but there was nothing she could have done otherwise

Struggle and swear as much as she could, it was futile. It was over for her, but not for Ren, Finn, or Azumi.

She stared at an alleyway all the while and smiled. Though the police knew not of her intentions to do so and merely dismissed her actions as a sign of insanity, she knew someone was there. Ren was there.

As the young man watched the Crane Yokai be taken away by the authorities, he vowed to free her after this mess had been dealt with. They had gone deep into the maw of things best left unknown.

Now there was no turning back. The Martyr-General must be defeated.

((Ngl, Kiyo and Ren wouldn't canonically commit murder, but hey, it's a good challenge to see what would happen if they were forced to ))