Forums » Smalltalk » Bit of a rant here

I don't refuse to RP with people who write in third person though?

I didn't say I do either?

I think we've all been there. In the future, it might be good to try writing down what's on your mind, setting it aside, and coming back to it later to consider if you can think of something to fix the issue or to ask for help when you're feeling more neutral.

Presently, though... Miss had some good suggestions. I'm familiar with the compulsion to explain yourself, I deal with it all the time, and like you, it often falls down to "because I'm dumb." So! Another thing to work on: when someone offers some solutions, forget about explaining why you haven't tried them already and focus on thinking those solutions over. Weigh them, see if they can be of value to you, and try them out. A lot of times, you might not even see the value unless you start trying them first. If it's something you've tried before, you can mention that, and try to consider that doing the same thing in a different way can sometimes make all the difference, as well as that a failure once doesn't mean it won't work next time.

Basically what I'm saying is:

• Acknowledge when suggestions have been made.
• Don't worry about explaining yourself.
• Consider the value of the suggestions.
• Use what works.
• Thank the person for their time, even if the suggestions won't work.

I say this as someone who is also working on getting better about this exact thing. It can be hard to train yourself, but it is both possible and worth it.

I found this legitimately interesting while reading through this topic, because I use RP as an escape form as well to deal with personal things, like not liking certain parts about me. But first-person for me means that the character I RP with becomes the real me and starts taking on traits from myself that I'm trying to avoid. Basically, I struggle to separate myself from a character when I use "I/me" language that isn't dialogue. So using first person actually defeats the purpose of roleplaying for me! In third person I can escape from who I am much better because I'm adventuring through someone who's entirely unlike me, and I'm less tempted to insert my own shortcomings into the character's personality.

My issue with RPing with someone who uses a different perspective to write in (so I write 3rd person, and the other person writes 1st person) is that it breaks the flow of the 'book' so to speak. I see RP as writing a story together, and if there are inconsistencies like one person using first-person perspective, and another third-person perspective, it breaks the reading flow and my mind feels like it's getting jerked around with every post. It's exhausting and I stop having fun over it.

I also don't think you're an idiot for having feelings and expressing them! We've all been there and done that, and in some cases we express ourselves in an unproductive way. It happens to the best of us. I understand the frustration of feeling misunderstood for your preference in writing style, but it helps to hear your side of it, and it helps that others can share theirs too. If you understand why people prefer third person over first person, you can ultimately find a compromise and communicate your preference in more productive ways.

I think this is a very good topic to discuss, as POVs don't often get the limelight.

I find this topic extremely interesting, because I have a very weird scenario:
1. I love writing books in 1st person. My current science fiction trilogy is first person multiple (switches between the various characters, but all first person).
2. I RP only in third person. Never first or second.

Reading everyone's thoughts on the matter was very intriguing. Ozzy, I completely understand that you like first person because it helps you connect with your character. That makes total sense, and that's completely fine!
However, I never RP in first person because I have had a lot of bad experiences with it. I don't mean bad as in bad writing, I mean bad as in the content. I've had characters on game platforms randomly DM me with sexual things, all first person, and it seriously creeped me out.
As someone with anxiety, first person gets way too personal. It makes me feel like things are happening to me, being said to me. Instead of me becoming my character, my character becomes me, and I'm 100% uncomfortable with that.
I much prefer being my character, not the other way around.

So why do I write my stories in 1st person? I think it's because I control everything in that setting. I'm not writing with someone else, I hold the pen and I alone. I don't feel like someone is doing anything to me, because it's all my choice and in my control.

All in all, I agree with what has already been said; everyone has their own choice of what POV they play, and that's their choice. Nobody should rag on you for preferring 1st Person, and nobody else should get ragged on for preferring 2nd or 3rd Person. The important thing is to indeed be up front about your preferences. Because I have such a strong adverse reaction to 1st person due to my past experiences, I always state in my LFRP posts that "3rd person only please ". Being up front about it will help you get the right people responding to your posts!


Also, because there seems to be a little confusion:

First person is hard for me to follow,as well for others. It kind of gets hard to follow if one posts in First Person and others post in Third person.

It gets more taxing if either inserts emojis or script actions which I have seen displayed with RPers.

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Since when do you have to write in the same style as your RP partner...? Literally all of my RPs right now are myself using first person and the other person using third...


Also as I said earlier, I was pretty pissed when I made this post and I don't think straight when I feel like that. I barely think straight when I'm calm because my common sense is non existent so of course I haven't tried anything to stop it, because I'm an idiot.

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Actually, it's not all that abnormal to me. It may be the norm to use one POV style with most players, but it's not uncommon (such as an open forum RP) to see people using different points of view. I've also played with people who use first person style in contrast to my third person and I've still had fun with them!

Ultimately, I think everyone has a right to use whatever point of view they like and have a preference for certain points of view. There's no true wrong way to write, after all... Outside of grammar, spelling, punctuation, and all the wonderful things about proofreading a written piece, of course!

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I just want to point out that Ozzyotter3001 was quoted to have said that they refuse to change their own writing style when asked or told to by people who write 3rd person, not that they refuse to RP with people who don't write first person. I'm getting the impression there's some miscommunication going on regarding that.

They said they can't achieve their RP goals writing in 3rd person, so they stick to 1st. They will happily RP with people who write 3rd person (mentioned in their very first post) even though it's not their thing. But people get upset and demand they change their writing style to 3rd person in order to play, and that is something they're understandably unwilling to do.

I think it might be a good idea to read Ozzyotter's posts again and take a closer look, I think people are upset over a misinterpretation here.

Personally, I'm a little leery of people who RP in 1st person in English. In my native tongue, Finnish, it doesn't bother me, because in the Finnish RP circles I haven't come across as much of the thing that makes me leery of anglophone 1st person roleplayers: people who seem to confuse their character and themself.

Don't get me wrong, I do RP with people no matter what person or tense they RP in. Go ahead, RP in 1st or even 2nd person if you want, I don't mind! (Yes yes I'm a homestuck yes.)

But I'm still a bit wary of anglophone 1st person roleplayers because the apparent self/character confusion.

Granted, obviously, not all 1st person RPers have that issue, and sometimes even 3rd person roleplayers will accidentally say "me" when speaking of their character OoC if the character is a bit closer based on themself. It happens.

(I suspect that Finnish RP circles may be a bit more uniformly strict in terms of expectations of literacy, and people were quite apt to give concrit if someone didn't quite fill the expectations in writing or character creation; and that was expected, because people had to apply for joining RP forums. Due to this the obvious sort of self/character confusion wasn't common, although some, especially younger people, had self-insert characters. (Me for one. Turns out non-self inserts are more fun for me...) Sometimes someone writes a bit oddly, but their characters and stories are interesting enough that nobody nitpicks.)

Oh, also, I usually match my RP partner's PoV and tense, so although I default to 3rd person I have no problem switching to 1st or 2nd. Granted, I haven't RP'd in 1st person in years, and never in 2nd person, but that simply means it'll take a while until I get accustomed.

... Also also, as someone with a history of negative self talk, here's a suggestion: Make figuring out more exact ways to describe your actions and feelings into a writing exercise. In posting the OP, what were you really? Impulsive? Overtaken by frustration? "Stupid" and "idiot" aren't in the vocabulary. Hopefully it will help you be more forgiving of yourself, reduce your need to diminish yourself for others, and help you become a better writer all in one fell swoop.

A logical person is able to get my point across! Thank you!

The only two reasons i dont do first persob are because im used to third and yhe few times i did do first ot got way to personal and i didn't enjoy it, i just prefer third honestly

Wow.... tell us how you REALLY feel! What did 3rd person ever do to you? Just curious.

"Everybody" is rather all-inclusive, but being that I am Nobody, I don't mind writing in 1st person in certain RPs and will use 1st person when my character is having internal thoughts. In the narrative of the writing of most RPs though, I use 3rd person as it seems to flow easier.

I dunno if I missed something because I mostly just skimmed through most of this thread but...

I didn't notice anyone mentioning this...

Personally, I prefer writing in 3rd person because I choose to write a response primarily as though it's meant to be read by my partner. I'm a story-teller when it comes to RP, and like to write in a way that presents my input to them. Whilst when I write in 1st person, it feels more like I'm writing for myself. This is regardless of whether I'm writing as a character who is in some way a self-insert or persona or whether I'm writing as a character who has nothing to do with me personally.

I also find reading a partner's response more immersive if it's 3rd person. Because in 1st person, it's like you're listening to them retelling events; whilst 3rd person is more like you're there experiencing it - watching it unfold.

That being said, I never complain if someone only does 1st person writing. Everyone has their own reason for preferring either one. As long as the RP is good, it doesn't really matter.

I remember writing in 1st person when I started doing RPs like 6-ish years ago and it kind of evolved into 3rd person at some point. I personally don't like writing 1st person because it feels more like you're retelling an event of something that happened in your own life, rather than separating your IRL life and your character's.

I also feel like it may have something to do with the level of education for me (can't stress enough that it's not like that for everyone else, if any at all.) But, as I've progressed through the educational system, I have been presented with the academic genre, as my English teacher calls it, where you are not expressing your own opinion but simply sharing the facts and arguments and such (don't know why I'm writing this tbh, but probably to get my point across, lol). So, I guess, from my perspective, it feels more natural to be writing in a 3rd person narrative because it's what I'm being taught at school. I hope that made sense?

Also, I don't really mind having a partner who prefers 1st person, I just don't feel like I come across it as often on RPR though. c:

I would try RPing in 1st person. Also if someone wanted to RP in 1st person, while I RP'd in 3rd person, I would do it. In fact, I've done it.