Forums » Smalltalk » DAE get insecure about your RP abilities?

as title says, how often do you guys get insecure about your own RP abilities? i've felt super down about my own writing lately and it's made me not want to reply at all to my roleplays. i guess you could say it's one of those things where you feel like you're the only one really invested and looking forward to the next reply xD

thoughts?

I do to an extent, but I try not to let it affect me.

I do all the time, but I try not to let it get to me. I’ve been RPing with one person since the two of us met, and if she hated my RP she probably wouldn’t have kept it up for so many years, haha. It’s just a matter of remembering that as long as you’re having fun and not harming anyone IRL, it doesn’t matter how “good” you are.

I used to feel like people who had the more flowery and intricate and impressive writing were the best roleplayers.

I was wrong.

Do you put effort into coming up with plot bunnies and communicating with your partner? Do you try to resolve OOC drama or avoid it altogether? Do you react in your posts to what the other character did, rather than ignore them? Do you give your roleplay partner something to react to in your post? If you lost interest, do you actually tell the other player instead of just ignoring them? If you answered yes, then you are a good roleplayer!

Your writing abilities are not the only thing that make you a good rper. Sometimes I feel like my writing sucks, and sometimes I feel like I should have been an author. Whenever someone has flaked on me, or when my muse is deflated, I feel like I am a bad writer. But other times I think, "I'm okay at it." At least once a week, I wonder for some reason or another if I'm an alright rp partner. We've all got our ups and downs.

Everything JustaBitEvil said.

Everything JustaBitEvil said.

I’ll be honest here, I have met many amazing writes (Note: I am not calling them role-players) with amazing writing skills, their sentences are like spun gold and boy if you were to pay attention to it, their grammar is just so flawless and accurate that you wonder if they put their responses through a grammar checker, or an English teacher or two before they sent it- but too bad, I felt absolutely miserable during the entirety of the roleplay.

It is not because I felt inferior-though, a small part of it is in fact due to that- but because they didn’t bother to ask. They spun the stories around their characters and only their characters and no matter what my character did, their character did not once reacted to it- hell, I am sure my character can cause a tsunami and theirs would be coincidentally eating lunch on a business class airplane- it is that bad.

This is one of my experiences anyways- but the point is that, your RP abilities is not only dependant on how good you write or how long/beautiful your replies are- those factor in somewhat, of course, but it is certainly not the entirety of it. As long as you are an active contributor to whatever roleplay you are in, and is concerned about your roleplay partner, as well as the story both of you are writing then you are a good roleplayer as far as I am concerned ^^

The best RPs I've ever had, that lasted years and years, with the most complex plots and character relationships, humor, drama, and unique ideas, have all been script-style. Writing ability isn't needed for this hobby, really, just creativity and open communication.

Occasionally. I am a multi para rper; I tend to repeat myself sometimes and get worried it's annoying. I sometimes worry that I am putting in too much irrelevant detail or maybe my posts are too long or my posts or boring. Even though most people tell me they love how much detail I put in, I still question it.

I think how long my posts are and what not doesn't hurt me because I am very creative and friendly and am constantly running ideas by my partners and asking them for ideas and blending ideas with them. I make people excited to rp with me (so I've been told.)

Yet sometimes I still get kinda insecure about it because I know sometimes I can go over board and maybe it's too much or it's boring or I'm repeating myself on accident.

Though I once had someone who was a really really really detailed writer more detailed than me by 10 fold and I just couldn't keep up with them.

They weren't the average detailed writer; they were someone who made me feel like even in OOC that they were superior to me. They didn't do the same things that I do in order to let someone know that they're doing a good job and what not. I work very hard to support my partner's and praise them. But this person sort of just was really passive aggressive when I mentioned that I might want to end of the RP because I was just feeling overwhelmed. And they pretty much told me that I should just go find someone who's willing to dumb down to my level.

So lately I've been feeling especially insecure about my writing.

Screw that. I haven't RPd with you before but the fact that you go out of your way to praise your partners is awesome. That's something we should all be doing. Everybody needs encouragement now and then cause we are all our own worst enemy sometimes.

Think of it as bringing people up to your level when you compliment and encourage them. That person was bringing you down to their pathetic level by insulting you, because that makes them pretty low-down.

*raises hand slowly* I do, for many a reason.

I'm insecure about my slow replying speed and lack of motivation when depression hits, so I don't bother replying to most ads because they require a daily or instant response. I can't keep up with that, and I feel ashamed about it. I understand that people aren't fond of "ghosters," but life happens a lot. Poor mental health, work, errands, broken devices, etc.... It ends up leaving me nervous around other players in OOC chats: do they care if I don't feel up to roleplaying, or if my phone or computer breaks and I can't respond to them? Will they understand or just give me a hard time and say I'm a horrible person for life biting me in the anal region or wanting to care about myself for once? The fear cripples me, so I don't answer ads or send them out often, if at all nowadays.

Don't get me started on my own writing, either. I love biting on people's replies, and giving people things to gnaw on in return, so to speak. Every action has a reaction, right? That's one main way that stories move and grow. For example, throw a fireball at me, and I'll duck in fear and scream, "What was that for?! Are you insane or something?" I don't know why things like that are so difficult for other roleplayers, as a few have already noted.

However, I'm also one of those descriptive, flowery, purple prose writers, and can't keep things short for the life of me. I'm afraid of running more concise people away because I talk/type too much for my own good. I envy those types of players, to be honest; every time I roleplay with one, I look at their shorter posts with my walls of text in comparison and bow my head in shame, like I'm wasting their time with so many words to read.

Also, I suck at repitition. So many repeated words... I feel dumb whenever I see myself repeating the same phrase or word in the same document.

I think there's more I'm insecure about, but I'll be here for weeks, so... *goes back to hiding in his blanket cave*

I'm really new to writing, but I feel the same way. But you know what? The thesaurus helps me out a lot with that problem! It makes me look way smarter than I am!

And as a concise writer, I wanna say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with writing descriptive stuff. some of my favorite writers to RP with give me a lot of description and bring me into their worlds, and it always beings a smile to my face. Fear not! We appreciate you as much as you appreciate us!

so it looks like the general consensus here is that everybody faces this to some degree? c:

i'm glad about that lol. good to know i'm not the only one who deals with this. i think a problem a lot of us has is when someone obviously wants to stop an rp but they don't...so you get insecure when they don't reply for a long time and then give like, a way shorter response than usual that just seems like they're uninterested. for some reason just saying you want to stop seems to have a bad rep in the rp community? who knows lmao.

someone should start a writing compliment thread. i think we'd all feel a lot better about ourselves if we had some form of pat on the back every now and then. xD i think it's normal for us all to be a little insecure though, no? i guess it's just kinda a human nature thing.

(sorry for posting so much but I really care about this topic so )

I definitely see how that would make you feel bad. For me, well, I've been through too much in my life to sweat it when someone doesn't reply/takes a long time to reply, and honestly, it usually really is just real life stuff getting in the way. People reply, they don't reply, well, I just keep looking for more stories and partners, so I always have something going on. Though it does give me a long backlog so I feel like *I'm* leaving people waiting then...

I think there's a "compliment the above" thread in the Forum Games section (I haven't opened the thread but it's a nice idea) but a more specific thread would be a good idea. I don't feel comfortable writing kudos for some reason but I might post in a thread like that |D

i personally tend to have fewer partners due to my busy schedule, so i like to maintain a close relationship with them! the only reason this would really affect me is well, some of them aren't big talkers in OOC so i don't know how they're liking what we're up to lol. it's kind of like flailing around in the dark and hoping they like what i'm doing because they don't like to chat too much. xD

i've played around in that thread before, but it's more so for characters than it is your own writing and what not. c: and same, writing kudos makes me feel so uncomfortable. like, when is the right time to write them?? HAS IT BEEN LONG ENOUGH?? lmao

Most of the time my insecurities come from dealing with people who basically have been considered an elitist type of rprs. I put what I deem necessary for a post, and I've had people tell me: "Add more emotion to your replies." "Show more emotion." Or they don't like the fact I have so little dialogue in my reply. Well. When I don't have much for my person to say, what do you want? Utter nonsense to be posted? Also when I post what a character is thinking, especially if they have two personalities in one body, I've been told to not do that unless the personalities are in full disagreement with one another.

I've learned to simply just put my foot down and say: I'm doing just fine, you don't like it? Not my problem. Because too many times people try to force you to change, and that's not right. They may try to make it sound like they aren't trying to be mean or force you, but if you are confident in your writing, that is what should matter.

I've also seen how great another person's character(s) are compared to mine, and I wish I could do as great as them. But again. I've learned that if I like the way my character is, then just be happy with what I have. I've also had people try to tell me repeatedly I need to change my character because they themselves don't like how I have a character for one reason or another.

It's like a post I found on Tumblr. "When you choose to stick to your unfortunate character creation choices"



Just realized I rambled, and not sure how much I stuck to the topic, but that's just how I see it.

Ah, well, I think this is a common feeling within RPers. I'm feeling this especially, in my case it's mainly me worrying about my writing skill, me worrying if the other person is getting sick of me or being ghosted by people for one reason or another which may be due to the former two.

Sometimes I take way too long to reply, finally reply in the middle of the night, and then the person never replies. I wonder if the outcome would be different if I replied earlier, or if my reply just wasn't good enough. And, usually I'm kind of shy, so when I try to plot, it's difficult for me to make decent conversation. It's hard, because sometimes I wonder what I'm doing wrong, and yet it's difficult to get feedback on that kind of stuff.

yessss this is exactly how i feel!! for me, it's not so much about my writing i fret about, just whether or not the other personally actually likes what i'm doing- a lot of the problem is people don't want to ask you to redo something, so they end up ghosting you. i feel like if we all got more comfortable with voicing when we'd like to do something different, the amount of ghosting would go down a lot lol. c:

i also take forever to reply, mainly because i get nervous about posts that don't have anything happening and are just dialogue or scene setting. i'm also shy at first, so a lot of my partners get put off by that and think that it reflects my actual ability- i agree with you wholeheartedly about it's dang near impossible to get feedback!! i just wish i could know what i could improve on instead of being left in the dark.

Lol I'll admit to have ghosted people before, but only after I've asked them to clarify a post, or made it clear that I couldn't possibly respond to what they gave me, and detailed reasons why not. If they give me some nothing answer, I don't bother with them anymore, life is too short.

For fine folks who are just a little shy, but good and honest and understanding, there is no reason for me to ghost, I'm very upfront as long as I feel respected. I'm sorry you've all run into people who don't offer you that courtesy. But I guess everyone's different, you can't change that.

If anything I get insecure of being seen as "just" a character. I'm a person first and foremost.

I used to para roleplay back in the day. Can enjoy it still probably, but I've found I enjoy a shorter style as well. Persona is more fun then IC only roleplay because you can connect with who you're interacting with. And is something a lot of people actually are doing instead of being IC only. IC only roleplay is fun as well but I'd need to know someone has my back before I can get into that.

So before worrying about roleplay first "people" have to be established. And the sad truth is the world is full of people who easily see only the worst of you when you challenge their logic. There's also a lot of people that are more open minded and will actually stick around through arguments of which everyone has and make the best of things while understanding each other. I try to let the high and mighty types get to me, but man, they get to me. O_X

I think some of the points Lucreé mentioned are worth getting a little extra attention here too.

I’m generally known for writing stupidly long replies. Sometimes I worry that they’re too inwardly focused, since most of all that extra fluff is usually introspective exposition and monologue. I worry that my partner will feel like their character is being overlooked because the parts where my own character interacts with theirs end up looking very small due to all that extra stuff surrounding it. I also worry that people will just get bored reading all of that, because it essentially amounts to somebody talking about themselves a lot, which people generally (and understandably) aren’t too fond of. I’ve also had people tell me they’re downright intimidated by my writing due to the overall length. They get insecure because they feel like they’re supposed to match post length, or like they’re unable to contribute because - again - their post might seem to get swallowed up by mine. This one, in particular, breaks my heart. I become afraid that I might essentially be hurting someone indirectly, by doing what comes naturally and with good intentions.

So, I just want to try and explain something to folks who generally write more concise posts.

In my own experience, those of us who write obnoxiously long replies do it because of the way that writing comes to them fundamentally. Rather than thinking out what events will occur in a post, laying them down, and then making them sound good, the thought process is different. It’s more akin to simply dumping everything in one’s head onto the page, then sort of moving it around so that it becomes a coherent narrative rather than a jumble of random thoughts and ideas. Often the post will end up getting sort of off-topic as the writer goes off on tangents in the process of trying to explain everything that’s knocking around in their brain.

It’s not that there are somehow “more thoughts” in the head of a flowery writer than a more concise writer, it’s that they have a bit less of a filter, and more stuff gets through than might otherwise be desirable. And yes, sometimes it’s simply a matter of overthinking things, and ranting about them. In some cases, I think people get anxious that their post won’t be clear enough, or that it won’t contain everything it’s supposed to or that they’ve left something out. As a result, they keep piling and piling more and more text in there until they can convince themselves that it’s worth sending.

Y'know those times when you write a post, then sit there for an hour staring at it and trying to convince yourself not to just delete it and start over? If you've experienced that, just imagine it on a more extreme scale. If you haven't, that's the best way I can explain it. Some folks might not know that others have these moments, but they do - sometimes to the point of getting so discouraged with themselves that the post can end up taking weeks or months to finish, possibly even fizzling the RP itself due to their inactivity. Then, when they can't put their reasoning into words, they end up ghosting out of sheer social anxiety.

It’s a cathartic process in many cases too, I think. Personally, I put a lot of myself into my characters, usually in the form of the things they think and the issues they deal with in their own heads. So often an RP post can turn into a sort of ‘fictional diary’.

That is to say, rather than

”Dear Diary- Sometimes I overthink things, then look like I’m condescending to someone when I over-explain them in turn. It’s not that I think they’re stupid, it’s that I’m afraid I’m doing a bad job at explaining it.”

A post will come out like

”It was simply too complex an issue to sum up in words. There was too much to say and not enough time - and what if her inadequate explanation ended up leading to disaster? ”Just shut up and follow me!” she snapped. It was better to just get angry rather than risk humiliating herself and wasting time. Maybe this was why most people thought she was a callous @#$%&.”

Heck, even now I’m trying to wrap this up, but worrying that something I said might come off as pompous or offensive. Or that there might be some loose end I never took care of.

I just want to sort of get it out there that there’s often more and different reasoning behind those overlong posts than it might seem on the surface, and that while I can’t speak for everybody, I can say that often those who write such posts are conflicted as to whether it’s a gift or a curse.

The only time I get insecure is when I try to push something out and I'm not feeling my muse. I used to stick to a very strict "reply to rps in the order they came in" strategy. Honestly though, sometimes your muse just isn't there for a certain story or a certain character. I've found with being more flexible in my replies and choosing which I am feeling like replying to I'm not as stressed in general, or anxious about my replies. When a story moves you and you're in the groove, you write better replies. Period. Maybe some people can write great replies at a whim when they're not feeling it. That's not me, so for me I've found that this little change in my routine has helped immensely with my confidence.