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Forums » RP Discussion » What do you do when your posts get ignored?

Noel Mikkelsen (played anonymously)

I had never faced it before until recently. It seems that everything I reply to my partner, they ignore or have their characters ignore and simply just continue with their own train of thinking and such. It just kind of hurts and everything? Like, it's getting to the point where I'm beginning to feel like, what's the point of even RPing this idea if they're only writing what they want and my posts pretty much have no bearing. It's just a difficult problem but I'm far too passive of a person to bring up how it feels to them. I love the story and everything so I would still love to see where it goes but, for me it's beginning to just feel like I should stop putting an effort in to what I'm writing because it doesn't seem to matter at all. Of course, i understand with original ideas, sometimes you have an idea of where you want a story to go. However, in ones that i have had, if my partner did something I didn't expect, I'd go with it. Because to me, RPing is about creating a story together. And if I really wanted one thing to go a specific way, I'd discuss with them OOC. Sorry for this rant, I just don't know if what I'm feeling is valid or not.

(Posted as my one Anon character just cause I don't want it to be known it's me)
I personally think it completely valid. A few RP’s past, I’ve had a few of these situation. It’s very frustrating, because as you said: RPing is about creating a story together.

Honestly, I know some people can be unaware of what they’re doing. I brought it to a partner once and they were oblivious to the fact. They were just helping guide the plot along because I’m very passive as well and don’t know when it’s okay to take control and lead without worrying I’m doing something wrong. But there are a few people that do this as well just because they want the story to focus on their character. I think those players are rare, but they do exist.

You said you loved the story, but it was just frustrating to see that they seemed to disregard what you’ve been saying. I would possibly suggest reaching out and letting them know. It doesn’t have to be harsh, or passive aggressive; just something simple and friendly pointing out that “Hey, I’m not sure if you’re aware you’re doing this, but...xyz...and it’s getting a bit frustrating. I feel disregarded/ignored/etc. I love our RP and would love to continue, I just wanted to give a heads up.” Or something along those lines. (I’m still working on being a friendly assertive...and it’s especially hard online when you can’t see people’s faces or hear their tone.)

But yes! Your feelings are more than valid!
Sanne Moderator

I'm sorry you're going through this! This has happened to me many times, and it always feel very frustrating and exhausting. Roleplaying is a collaborative effort, and if one side is not taking the other into account, it stops being fun.

I also know that a lot of people don't understand they're ignoring so much content, especially if the other person remains quiet and doesn't address it when it happens. Of course you don't owe them any explanation, but if the RP is otherwise fun and has potential, it's worth considering talking to them about it. :)

The way I see it, if you do nothing things will stay the same and your feelings are unlikely to change too, so ending the RP is an almost inevitable outcome because there's no point playing if you don't have fun.

If you bring it up you may end up with the same outcome of ending the RP, but you also create the opportunity for there to be a different outcome, where your RP partner wants you to have fun too and pays more attention to it in their next posts. It's hard to know how it goes until you've tried it, so if the negative outcomes are the same... it's worth pursuing the one with a potential resolution in my opinion!

Remember that you're allowed to step away from games that aren't fun for you, and a simple "I don't want to continue this RP anymore, thank you for the fun we had" is always valid and polite - the absence of an explanation is not impolite!
I'm sorry to hear this is happening! I refer to these players as Spotlight Players, so if nothing else, please know you're not alone in experiencing this, and that it's likely nothing personal, it's likely nothing to do with your playstyle or pace. I use the term Spotlight Players because often times they center themselves in the theoretical spotlight, they do not acknowledge your posts and instead write as though you have not posted to begin with. Lots of inner dialogue, barely makes mention of anything you have written or done IC, etc.

When this happens, I usually end the plot politely. But if I am enjoying the roleplay just as you are, I'll talk openly to them about it. I let them know that I'm really enjoying the roleplay and excited to see where it goes, but that I don't feel anything I am writing is being acknowledged much, and that as a result I'm having a harder time replying. By using "I feel" and so forth, I find that players generally receive it well and are understanding, whereas saying "you have done this and that and it's not cool" comes across as confrontational, which generally just doesn't help.

At the end of the day, I hope you're able to continue! ^_^
This is definitely one of the biggest agonizing fears I get when picking up new partners next to writing styles not sinking up. It happens more frequently then people might think.
Everyone else has pretty much said the same things I would say. These are the people in it for their own story and your pretty much just a witness. Its rude and most of the time I would disagree – they know what they are doing just not the effect they have on you. Essentially, they have an idea in mind and what you wrote just doesn’t fit that. In my experience, even after a chat it continues or they get very defensive about it and state YOU are the one who is ignoring THEIR posts and then its just a mess. Maybe, maybe it gets better for a few rounds before they sink back into their own ways.

If you have it in you its always good to talk first because obviously we don’t know if the person is intentionally doing it or if they are maybe a new writer who doesn’t yet know better.

But in my personal experience I have found it better to just excuse myself from the RP starting our writers styles don’t mesh.
I’ll echo the good advice that’s been given here. Some people are just selfish as players, either they don’t understand just how collaborative this hobby is or they don’t care and will take as much as you can give. You can always take your ideas with you and try again elsewhere with somebody else who won’t give you such a hard time if you do decide to break things off.

In the past I’ve tried holding on to bad RPs like this, tried to coax them out of this attitude and it never worked out because they were ignoring me to begin with or would become disproportionately offended. It was too much effort for what it was worth so yeah I don’t recommend sticking around to help when it isn’t wanted.
I infer something that will very obviously kill their character if they ignore it, but would otherwise be very easy to avoid. A favorite is going at length describing a pit trap poorly disguised by a pile of leaves through which the thin netting that holds the leaves above ground can be clearly seen as well as the rows upon rows of poison-tipped javelins at the bottom. Then when they ignore it, I simply say;

"Sorry, the RP is over. You've ignored my post one too many times and you basically just described your character doing nothing to avoid the upcoming death trap so... they're dead, and I just don't RP with corpses. Good stuff. Peace."
AlexSilverX wrote:
I infer something that will very obviously kill their character if they ignore it, but would otherwise be very easy to avoid. A favorite is going at length describing a pit trap poorly disguised by a pile of leaves through which the thin netting that holds the leaves above ground can be clearly seen as well as the rows upon rows of poison-tipped javelins at the bottom. Then when they ignore it, I simply say;

"Sorry, the RP is over. You've ignored my post one too many times and you basically just described your character doing nothing to avoid the upcoming death trap so... they're dead, and I just don't RP with corpses. Good stuff. Peace."
:D Now that just made my day. :D Love it! :D

Seeing that I haven't commented on this topic, I will add my 2¢ on an experience I had with this. I entered into a couple RPs with a writer that were initially pretty good and there was a good amount of input from parties, but it eventually worked toward the direction of the storyline being driven by my partner. More and more as I would write in a possible direction into the story, it was walked past without even a mention as they drove on with some pre-conceived storyline they had. The RPs got to a point where I quit trying to contribute since anything I offered in my posts got ignored, or at best, quickly dismissed, in their next post. So I went along with what they were writing as a strictly reactionary character, writing what my character was doing in their storyline. Eventually when I got into other RPs that were more collaborative in their nature, these RPs dropped down my list of priorities to respond to, and they eventually ended them because I wasn't responding fast enough. I enjoyed them for a time, and when things were going off, I did bring it up OOC and there too it was swiftly dismissed. I think I only stuck with it as long as I did because I admired them as a friend.

So what I do when posts are ignored I approach in OOC and point it out, and if it keeps up, I take a less blunt but similar approach as AlexSilverX.
I wrote fabulous starters that got totally ignored. I wrote eloquent responses to roleplays that were answered whenever they got around to it. I gave one roleplayer so many chances to be freinds with and be regular writing partners but they laughed it off by losing a freind and a fellow roleplayer in me .Now I got steady reliable roleplayers who have become blessed beautiful freinds so close to me. I just move on now. I'm not prefect either.
I will echo what everyone else here has said or implied -- your feelings are definitely valid! I've been there once or twice.

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