I agree with the first few posts, but definitely not the last few..
At the end of the day, if someone isn't comfortable, they aren't comfortable. And no one should dismiss them or be angry at them because they're not comfortable with that kind of thing. It is the same as saying MxF, or MxM, or whatever. It doesn't mean this person is homophobic at all; they just know themselves and their comfort levels and expressing that.
If you expressed your comfort levels and then this same thing occurred, you would probably feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they are and that's that; move along because there are plenty of other people who are comfortable with it.
Growing up in a highly religious and unaccepting environment is difficult, is hurtful, and RPR is an escape for a lot of people but you can't expect absolutely everyone to be comfortable with anything and everything. That's just what it is.
At the end of the day, if someone isn't comfortable, they aren't comfortable. And no one should dismiss them or be angry at them because they're not comfortable with that kind of thing. It is the same as saying MxF, or MxM, or whatever. It doesn't mean this person is homophobic at all; they just know themselves and their comfort levels and expressing that.
If you expressed your comfort levels and then this same thing occurred, you would probably feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they are and that's that; move along because there are plenty of other people who are comfortable with it.
Growing up in a highly religious and unaccepting environment is difficult, is hurtful, and RPR is an escape for a lot of people but you can't expect absolutely everyone to be comfortable with anything and everything. That's just what it is.
MercyInReach wrote:
Demilicious wrote:
To go a bit further, it's kind of like how we have preferences over who and what we find attractive. Someone may really just have a thing for Asian guys. Does it make them racist not to be into Black men? Nope! Just not their preference.
This doesn't have to do with the origin post but I had to say something. I'm really very saddened by this bit here. It's actually a huge issue for someone to be 'not into black men' and not into black people in general, and also a problem to 'just have a thing for Asian guys', actually. Very problematic. It's similar to how so many people are 'just into fat girls' and that's why they like me, which is painful, almost as painful as the whole 'just not into fat girls' thing, which is also problematic.
It's one thing to not be attracted to a specific person or a few people, and they happen to be fat, black, ect. It's another thing to just say in a generalized sense 'not into black people' or 'not into fat people' ect. Having a generalized sense of attraction that excludes minority groups especially is a part of the problem when it comes to racism, fatphobia, and even internalized homophobia, ie: 'only into real queers and not bisexuals' or 'only into butches'.
You are entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. I'm sorry my view hurts you, but (and I am going to be honest) it does nothing to change my personal feelings or view on the matter. I personally feel that everything is subjective. Intelligence, to me, is subjective even. How we rate and judge and view - all based on an individual's experiences, and willingness to grow, and preferences we sometimes are born with (sexuality). Some people do grow, some people try, some people don't.
The best I can do for myself is to practice kindness, respect and authenticity, as I used before 'my truth', at every moment of every day. I don't always succeed, but I try. But like sexuality, I cannot help what I am attracted to. If I am not attracted to people over 300lbs, I'm not. It's not going to change. It simply is, and you can choose to accept that or get up in arms about it.
Can you dictate what I do and what I don't? No. You can only control yourself. As long as we are respectful, we can have differing views and get along. I believe Ellen DeGeneres said something very pertinent about this when she got flack for being friends with George Bush:
"But just because I don't agree with someone on everything doesn't mean that I'm not going to be friends with them," she said. "When I say, 'be kind to one another,' I don't only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone."
Just because I am not attracted to someone or a group of people doesn't mean I cannot be friends with them, respect them as equals, and break bread with them. There is a huge difference here.
StaticNightmares wrote:
I agree with the first few posts, but definitely not the last few..
At the end of the day, if someone isn't comfortable, they aren't comfortable. And no one should dismiss them or be angry at them because they're not comfortable with that kind of thing. It is the same as saying MxF, or MxM, or whatever. It doesn't mean this person is homophobic at all; they just know themselves and their comfort levels and expressing that.
If you expressed your comfort levels and then this same thing occurred, you would probably feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they are and that's that; move along because there are plenty of other people who are comfortable with it.
Growing up in a highly religious and unaccepting environment is difficult, is hurtful, and RPR is an escape for a lot of people but you can't expect absolutely everyone to be comfortable with anything and everything. That's just what it is.
At the end of the day, if someone isn't comfortable, they aren't comfortable. And no one should dismiss them or be angry at them because they're not comfortable with that kind of thing. It is the same as saying MxF, or MxM, or whatever. It doesn't mean this person is homophobic at all; they just know themselves and their comfort levels and expressing that.
If you expressed your comfort levels and then this same thing occurred, you would probably feel unsafe or uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they are and that's that; move along because there are plenty of other people who are comfortable with it.
Growing up in a highly religious and unaccepting environment is difficult, is hurtful, and RPR is an escape for a lot of people but you can't expect absolutely everyone to be comfortable with anything and everything. That's just what it is.
Thank you.
Demilicious wrote:
You are entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. I'm sorry my view hurts you, but (and I am going to be honest) it does nothing to change my personal feelings or view on the matter. I personally feel that everything is subjective. Intelligence, to me, is subjective even. How we rate and judge and view - all based on an individual's experiences, and willingness to grow, and preferences we sometimes are born with (sexuality). Some people do grow, some people try, some people don't.
The best I can do for myself is to practice kindness, respect and authenticity, as I used before 'my truth', at every moment of every day. I don't always succeed, but I try. But like sexuality, I cannot help what I am attracted to. If I am not attracted to people over 300lbs, I'm not. It's not going to change. It simply is, and you can choose to accept that or get up in arms about it.
Can you dictate what I do and what I don't? No. You can only control yourself. As long as we are respectful, we can have differing views and get along. I believe Ellen DeGeneres said something very pertinent about this when she got flack for being friends with George Bush:
"But just because I don't agree with someone on everything doesn't mean that I'm not going to be friends with them," she said. "When I say, 'be kind to one another,' I don't only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone."
Just because I am not attracted to someone or a group of people doesn't mean I cannot be friends with them, respect them as equals, and break bread with them. There is a huge difference here.
Your view/that specific view in general hurts more than just me, but it you seem comfortable and it is your choice after all like you said. Thanks for being honest.
MercyInReach wrote:
Demilicious wrote:
You are entitled to your opinion, as I am mine. I'm sorry my view hurts you, but (and I am going to be honest) it does nothing to change my personal feelings or view on the matter. I personally feel that everything is subjective. Intelligence, to me, is subjective even. How we rate and judge and view - all based on an individual's experiences, and willingness to grow, and preferences we sometimes are born with (sexuality). Some people do grow, some people try, some people don't.
The best I can do for myself is to practice kindness, respect and authenticity, as I used before 'my truth', at every moment of every day. I don't always succeed, but I try. But like sexuality, I cannot help what I am attracted to. If I am not attracted to people over 300lbs, I'm not. It's not going to change. It simply is, and you can choose to accept that or get up in arms about it.
Can you dictate what I do and what I don't? No. You can only control yourself. As long as we are respectful, we can have differing views and get along. I believe Ellen DeGeneres said something very pertinent about this when she got flack for being friends with George Bush:
"But just because I don't agree with someone on everything doesn't mean that I'm not going to be friends with them," she said. "When I say, 'be kind to one another,' I don't only mean the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone."
Just because I am not attracted to someone or a group of people doesn't mean I cannot be friends with them, respect them as equals, and break bread with them. There is a huge difference here.
Your view hurts more than just me, but if you're comfortable with it, than that's your choice. Thanks for being honest.
Mercy, I would never want to insult you by being something other than honest with you.
It's worth nothing that nobody is demanding these people write a LGBTQ+ romance. Literally all we're asking for is tolerance. I tolerate straight people in my RPs, in my groups, in my life - it's not that hard for them to do the same. If you can't get over your discomfort of LGBTQ+ people in your life, then you're in for a hard one. Tolerance is a part of life; there's some people I dislike, but I put up with them anyways.
Demilicious wrote:
Mercy, I would never want to insult you by being something other than honest with you.
Same to you. Which is why I said what I said - regardless of it not changing anything for you, others might see it and it will help them.
red-veins wrote:
It's worth nothing that nobody is demanding these people write a LGBTQ+ romance. Literally all we're asking for is tolerance. I tolerate straight people in my RPs, in my groups, in my life - it's not that hard for them to do the same. If you can't get over your discomfort of LGBTQ+ people in your life, then you're in for a hard one. Tolerance is a part of life; there's some people I dislike, but I put up with them anyways.
Being uncomfortable with something, in my opinion, isn't 'not tolerating' something though. They're not outright saying "All LGBTQ+ people are [blah blah blah]" and being hateful; they're simply saying that they want to keep RPR a safe and comfortable space for them, and to do that, they don't want anything they're uncomfortable with to participate in that group, which I think is okay.
At this point, I think, it's being assumed that just because they're uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they dislike/hate the subject or, as has been said, are being "borderline homophobic" (which, in all fairness, is unfair to assume at all because we don't know the full extent outside what has been said.)
StaticNightmares wrote:
Being uncomfortable with something, in my opinion, isn't 'not tolerating' something though. They're not outright saying "All LGBTQ+ people are [blah blah blah]" and being hateful; they're simply saying that they want to keep RPR a safe and comfortable space for them, and to do that, they don't want anything they're uncomfortable with to participate in that group, which I think is okay.
At this point, I think, it's being assumed that just because they're uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they dislike/hate the subject or, as has been said, are being "borderline homophobic" (which, in all fairness, is unfair to assume at all because we don't know the full extent outside what has been said.)
At this point, I think, it's being assumed that just because they're uncomfortable with LGBTQ+, they dislike/hate the subject or, as has been said, are being "borderline homophobic" (which, in all fairness, is unfair to assume at all because we don't know the full extent outside what has been said.)
Exactly my point. This is entirely hearsay. This person is not here to defend themselves. We have not been given any direct quote that this person even thinks negatively about LGBTQ+ people, and to assume so is taking their voice away from them. It is not fair. It's all based on assumptions which can make an ass out of everyone.
Okey dokey, it seems like the same points are being made in increasingly heated circles at this point in the topic. Some really good points were made in here on the way though. I'm locking from further responses, but do encourage anyone who stumbles across this to read through the discussion and do some reflection.
So far as I know, no one has actually reported the topic in question -- Depending on the circumstances and how this is phrased, the mod team may indeed require some edits (or remove).
So far as I know, no one has actually reported the topic in question -- Depending on the circumstances and how this is phrased, the mod team may indeed require some edits (or remove).
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