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unfortunately another future death comes to the past, this one is half cyborg and has a lazer scythe and he is trying to stop us from ruining anything else

Fortunately, Life smacks the futuristic Death back into the future, then gives us all a hug.

unfortunately, life's hug causes everyone to age rapidly, and normal death is forced to take us.

Fortunately, Death is so cunfuzzled that it throws its hands in the air and leaves, #done with this crap.

unfortunately when he throws his hands in the air, he does so litterally and the hands land on life, killing everyone in existence

Fortunately, that includes Death, and as the oldest one here it dies first, so it is unable to take the rest of us, so we come back to life.

Unfortunately there was some sort of cosmic mix up and we've comeback as a goldfish.

Fortunately, also due to the cosmic mixup we are all extremely buff goldfish with high intelligence and human arms. After three days we all take over the earth

Unfortunately we still have to breathe water, so our power over humanity is merely symbolic.

Fortunately, an unexpected tidal wave floods the Earth, up to the point where everything is underwater.

Unfortunately, the tidal wave contains a toxin that mutates benign animals into ferocious sea creatures... And they're out to eat us alive.

Fortunately, the toxin also affects us. This allows us to mutate, and gain strange abilities and features to defend ourselves from the other mutants.

Unfortunately, it only works on about a third of us, leaving the others defenseless.

Fortunately, the 3rd of the population with the toxin in them protect the non-mutants from the animals.

Unfortunately, some of the mutant people are not good people, and are giving the good mutant people more crap to deal with.

Fortunately, there is a haven of survivors in the sewers that didn't get mutated and have a gas based cure for the toxin.

Unfortunately the cure also turns us into sparkling vampires. OH THE HUMANITY!

Fortunately, these sparkling vampires aren't amazingly handsome and don't have an annoying fanbase that at any opportunity will bash the hell out of others for no reason.

Unfortunately, the vampires are ravenous and attack innocent people, be they normal or mutant.

Fortunately, said ravenous yet sparkling vampires have the stereotypical weakness to sunlight, but have an irrational fear of the moon, which they dub "Lunaphobia" or something like that. So attacks are pretty rare.