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A magical unicorn! HoNk!

Are dragons real?

Yes, but they're vegans.

Why do aliens only invade LA or NY?

To try the lollipops.


Are we at Candy Moutain yet?!?!?!

OHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE HALFWAY THEEERE
WHOOOOAAAA
LIVIN' ON A PRAYEEER

Why doesn't Godzilla come for a visit at my place anymore?

It's on a safari with the Yeti and King Kong.

Did aliens build the Pyramids?

No, the Oompa Loompas did.

What's the best way to kill ants?

Show them to Eustace Scrubb.

Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes ?

They are rainbow with golden stripes.

Will I get skinnier if I fart? I've been holding one massive one in my whole life. I'm afraid I'll become walking skin and bones if I let it out.

Put it into an empty bomb casing and arm the SOB.

If life gave me lemons... Why do I have a bloody melon?!?! :0

Because you killed it.

HOW DO I TURN CAPS LOCK OFF?

*pulls off the caps button* you don't *evil grin*

Did you guys meet the girl next door!?

Yeah but she was a he.

Can I eat my food now?

You may indeed feed yourself to a pack of weasels on amphetamines Can I watch...?

Why is particulate dissemination not the preferred method of trash disposal?

Because it's bad for the wild squirrels' genitalia.

Are you allergic to shallots?

yes it makes me poop rainbow




what is the point of this

The answer you are looking for does not exist.

How long is an eternity?

3 seconds




hi

YES, I WOULD LOVE TO INDULGE MY SORROWS IN KETCHUP!

Is it bad if your only Chamberlain leaves ya in charge of yer own realm by yourself for an entire week?

of corse with puppies



death by justin bieber or miley cyrus

Johnny Depp licked on the cheek by Helena Bonham Carter. (Platonic)

2+2=10 in Base ___?