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Forums » Smalltalk » Checking In During Quarantine/Distancing

I know we can all post whenever, but I also know some of us shy back from some things.

So.

How are you doing? Are you getting enough socialization? Are you getting enough sun (besides being generally good for your physical and mental health, it's supposed to weaken the virus)? Are you finding enough to keep occupied, and taking enough time to relax?

If there's someone you're helping take care of, how's that going? It's okay if you need to vent a bit.

Something about your circumstances making all of this harder? You can share that, too, if you want.


I... should be fine right now. So far as I know, no one I'm close to is being hit too hard. I'm not sure if I even know anyone who's been infected, and if I do, it's been the light-touch that got shrugged off. And although unemployment got delayed (apparently I had sick time at work, so I used up some of that), so far I have no reason to think I won't get it, and I actually have enough in savings to manage if it gets delayed longer than I expect. I have plenty to keep me occupied, too: games, cleaning/sorting, reading, crafty stuff.... And since my roommate is in a pretty low-risk job as far as the virus goes, he's still working, so I get alone time, too.

But today is messing with me. I'm not sure if this is "stir-crazy" or if it's because I've been haphazard about my Adderall or something else going on... I don't know. But today hurts for some reason, and reality is weird, and things just don't seem right for some reason...

I intend to go out shortly. I need to pick some things up. Hopefully that'll help.
Hi Zel.

If you ask me, I'm fine at my side. I'm with my family. We have enough supplies, have some movies to watch. I'm just missing someone very much as well as worrying about him 'cause he lives alone and has no source of income. But I anyway, I do hope you're doing okay. This quarantine is, indeed, taking a toll on us, especially if it extends. It has already extended here at our place and the global economy is going down because of it. People are even dying not because of the virus but because of hunger and starvation. I just pray that this will soon pass and that every one of us is safe.
It seems to depend on the day really - but over all the one theme that sticks is being utterly exhausted and yet not doing anything really. It's gotten to the point that being inside and not interacting with people in person at all is draining more than interacting with people ever was. I'd take being in a room of 10 people for 3 hours any day now where as before all this it made me utterly sick to think about that kind of situation sometimes.

I'm struggling with my body image during all this of all things, being stuck inside with just food and TV, and it's not great for my and my ED recovery frankly, but it's finally not raining so I plan on going outside to get some fresh air more often since taking walks aren't banned yet.

Some days though I feel like 'whats the point' in doing most things, including showering, cleaning up anything. It's just rough on the whole.

Thank you for this thread, it means a lot <3
How am I doing? Much better than I thought I would. Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp, New Leaf, and YouTube have kept me sane during this time. Getting enough sun is no big deal; I open my blinds and bask in it all day until the sun goes down. Since I live near the Gulf, it's sunny here most days.

I'm trying to keep positive, but all this news about the virus and everything going wrong where it counts does get to me. I just want to live and keep food in the house without worrying that my current safety net will break underneath my feet.
I'm... Not coping well.

I'm actually getting a bit more socialization than usual because everyone I live with is home more often now, and I'm spending more time socializing online as well. I'm getting just about zero sun, though, aside from what comes in through the windows. I haven't left the house in weeks. I'm pretty occupied with video games (Stellaris, Starbound, The Sims 4, and Animal Crossing: New Horizons in particular) and with schoolwork when I can force myself to do it, but I'm still having a hard time keeping my mind off of everything that's going on. I take a lot of time off of schoolwork, probably more than I should, but it's hard to relax. My RP block is still going strong, but I've been slowly working on a fanfiction that's helping me get back into the swing of writing. Key word being slowly.

So far, nobody in my family has the virus (that we know of), but my younger sibling and my fiancée are both in food service, meaning they both still have to go in to work and interact with people. My dad is 61 and diabetic, so I'm really worried about what could happen if one of them catches the virus and passes it on to him. I myself am unemployed (being a college student is basically my job), so at least I'm at minimal risk of catching it from anyone other than my sibling or my fiancée, since I have no reason to leave the house.

Speaking of college, I do not do well in an online learning environment. I took an online class once at the beginning of my college career and barely managed to pass it because I am terrible at keeping up with self-paced work. Now I'm forced to take three online classes from professors who've never taught online before. One of them uploaded the recordings of his lectures from the previous semester for us to watch and isn't doing much live communication with us aside from email announcements, another posts recordings of himself going over the lecture slides and does video conferences twice a week (but technical difficulties have prevented me from attending any of them), and another posts occasional videos but aside from that barely communicates with us. I've been putting off watching the videos from my professors until the last minute before a homework or quiz deadline because deadlines are the only thing that makes the need to do my assignments feel real.

My mental health situation isn't doing much better. I rarely talk about it online, and I'm not fishing for pity or attention or anything like that, but I feel like venting, so forgive me for getting personal. I'll put it under a collapse tag in case people don't want to read it.

Mental health venting

On top of my online learning struggles, my conviction that I have undiagnosed ADHD of the primarily inattentive type is growing ever stronger due to my executive dysfunction and other symptoms ramping up exponentially since the lockdown started. This is making my struggle with online learning even harder. I know self-diagnosis is something to be avoided, and I'm well aware that many ADHD symptoms overlap with depression, anxiety, and trauma symptoms, but considering I meet almost all of the DSM criteria for ADHD-PI (well over the minimum number required for a diagnosis) and my current treatment for depression, anxiety, and trauma hasn't helped at all with what I suspect to be ADHD-PI symptoms, I'm pretty certain there's more going on than my existing diagnoses. Unfortunately, due to the lockdown, I can't get screened for it.

The rest of my mental health issues are also worsening. I feel an overwhelming sense of dread most of the time. My anxiety ramps up whenever I sit down to do anything productive, I'm more depressed than I've been since late last year, and on top of it all, I picked the worst time to realize that what I previously thought was a trauma response is actually gender dysphoria. That was about a month before the pandemic started, and now I'm having to figure out how to manage it while stuck at home. Since COVID-19 is a respiratory disease, I feel like binding would be a bad idea since it restricts the chest, and anyway I'm terrified of going through the process of coming out a second time. And because I'm terrified of coming out again, I'm too nervous to start experimenting with pronouns and the way I present. I am, however, slowly going through the book Zelphyr posted about here, and so far it's been helpful. So at least there's that.
Last couple of years have been an improvement for me... I got a motorcycle, found some things to give more structure and meaning to my life, and I've generally been feeling less like a burden on society due to my anxiety and other issues. But lockdown has completely put an end to that. I've lost all structure and will to do anything and not only is it making me regress in mental health, it's also making it hard to keep up the motivation for RP.

Socially nothing has changed much, because I'm pretty much a shut-in anyway. So I'm just doing more of the usual gaming, listening to D&D streams in the background and occasionally reading. I don't have a Switch so I haven't been able to play Animal Crossing like the rest of the world seem to have been passing the time with, but I recently tried out a game called Garden paws on Steam, and I've fast become addicted (it's like a cross between Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon, and it's really cute).
I don't know what to say. I like the idea of a vacation. I can stay up as late as i want, sleep as much as i feel like i should and do just about anything whenever. But i feel lonely. I live alone in a very small space, and it's slowly starting to take a toll on me.
Hey, Mariette, if you want someone to talk to, I'm on here basically every day. I'd be happy to chat/suggest activities/lend an ear and an imaginary tub of ice cream. :P
Shinyrainbowlithogra wrote:
Hey, Mariette, if you want someone to talk to, I'm on here basically every day. I'd be happy to chat/suggest activities/lend an ear and an imaginary tub of ice cream. :P

That is very kind of you. Although I got a not so imaginary tub of ice cream in my fridge so i'll have to skip on that part. I do like talking to people though to spend my time.
Aw. <3 I think this thread is really sweet. *offers hugs anywhere they're needed*

Me, I've been okay. 👍

I've been alternating between energized and happy, lethargic and apathetic, and stir crazy. But the stir crazy thing is going away more and more the longer this thing goes on. I'm starting to get used to mostly be at my mom's apartment and mostly getting socialization from her and online. Fortunately, I'm able to see Sandra every few days, when she comes by to drop off groceries (which she is allowed to do because it falls under helping a vulnerable family member). It makes more sense for her to go shopping once for both of us than for me to also go. Cuts a lot of exposure to the public.

But anyway...we have a nice back porch (my mom does, that is), so that's where I get my sun, and I get her out there too. There are rose bushes in front of her patio bars...and a couple of trees in our view, so it's nice to be able to sit out there and see some green and red and a bit of blue sky and sunshine. Does wonders for the mood. Seriously.

When I get too stir crazy? Honestly, I go for a drive. It's a solitary activity, and yet it gives me the feeling that I've gone somewhere, which sometimes can't quite be replaced by anything else to get the same feeling.

I'll drive to the local park, or to a Sonic Drive-In for ice cream (ice cream is a popular topic in this thread, isn't it? :) ), or just drive a little ways outside the city to the pretty country roads where horses or cattle start popping up and see what I can see. But mostly, I'm chatting or doing work inside at my mom's place. We're "sheltering in place" together.

Hope you feel better, Zelphyr.
Rogue-Scribe

Thought I’d follow up with everyone...

Doing ok myself through this but I only go out a couple times a week and take my Dettol wipes with me. Try and take walks every day and do yard work for exercise.

How are you all doing in this ‘new normal’ world?

The state of Victoria is easing restrictions here even as a cluster of C19 explodes at a meat-packing plant. Australia has been moderately successful in combating the spread so far.

Also, other symptoms causing death are surfacing, like some originally asymptomatic-affected people in their twenties and thirties are having strokes due to their blood ‘sticking’ to artery walls. The studies are early but it appears the antibodies in their blood is successful in keeping the virus from attacking the respiratory system but the by product of dying C19 cells is a sticky sort of fat. There are also reports that young children are getting a serious skin rash from it as the ones who have had these symptoms in the USA have all tested positive.

There is so much we don’t know about this vicious virus. Stay safe everyone!
Wow, that's good to know! I've heard about 'covid-toes' -- the rash that seems to affect only the feet of folks who are otherwise not symptomatic of the flu part of it, but I hadn't heard about the strokes! All the more reason to stay indoors until you notice something that needs hospital attention. D:

I'm struggling a little; I missed a meeting with a career counselor today because I lost track of time, and I'm fretting a lot about finding work so my partner isn't carrying the both of us. (Also, the counselor is not cheap; I'm afraid of missing more and losing out on a frankly unrealistic amount of money given my current circumstances.)

I am hoping that by the end of all of this it will feel like it's 'all for nothing' and that we can move on with a gentler version of 'normal', but there's a lot of work that needs doing for everyone and on a larger level, which is existentially tiring.

...Anyways, my partner and I go out once a week or so with our hiking packs to get groceries (we've no car and are avoiding transit). Otherwise we stay inside and only go out for walks at weird times of day to avoid folks. Our city is opening parks back up, which is... eh. I think we need to wait longer, but lots of provinces are gunning to get back to things. I'm hopeful our health authority is stronger than that! I'm very glad we voted in NDP recently; they're just the people our province needs to weather this kind of a crisis imho.
Novus

I'll be entirely honest.

This whole quarantine has me in a bad way. And even though my state just lifted restrictions we believe it's too soon, and nobody in my household is venturing into public unless we have to. Unfortunately, I'm going insane. My spouse and I had problems before but now I just... IDK. We live with his family (they reside in the mother in law apartment) and I have zero privacy. The second vehicle broke down, so hubs is borrowing mine and I can't even go for a drive when I'm stressed like I like to do. I'm going through a gender transition and I'm dead-named and mis-pronouned every day and I'm just. I'm tired.

So am I getting enough socialization? I'd say too much, honestly.
Zelphyr Topic Starter

Well, an update for myself...

I rarely see people other than my roommate and his girlfriend, and spend most of my time home alone. I need to go out for groceries as soon as I can find the will though. Was hoping to catch a trip with roommate, but he's taken to just doing quick shopping on the way home when something's needed, and beyond that I never know when he'll even be coming home at all. But I have a bike, and don't need a huge trip.

My main employer ended up "eliminating" my job since things are taking so much longer than they expected; I was furloughed, now I'm fully laid-off. I need to figure out if that'll change anything with how I'm filling out my weekly unemployment reports, particularly if I need to work harder at meeting job hunting requirements when only specific jobs are hiring at all right now. When there was the expectation that I would be promptly rehired, most of the job hunt requirements were waved. Plus, I may not be able to return to my other job* even when they can reopen, and the convention I've been getting a little extra money from these past few years is most likely getting cancelled due to how far out my state is banning people-heavy events (which was actually less bothersome than the whiny "tyranny" and "sheeple" responses).

I have not been nearly as productive as I'd hoped. Time no longer makes sense. I still haven't gotten together a plan for structure, to help me actually get anything done. I'm having to change the type of Adderall I'm on; the extended dose has been amplifying sleeping issues, so gonna try just a regular type that's should wear off sooner. And, uh, it's barely been helping; little more active, not necessarily more focused or productive. I'm also suspect I've been eating even less now that time is a blur, and I was already losing weight. I've also had way too much time to get unresolved emotional issues stuck in my head. Fortunately-ish, everything is mostly coming out as a pretty constant "meh" rather than, like, constant stress or something.

*I'm about to start very small doses testosterone, but between social distancing stuff and a fear of needles, I'll be at least starting with a transdermal gel form instead of injections, and that can potentially cause problems if any gets on others. Other job is professional cuddling. Not a great mix.

Shadow-Ranger wrote:
Also, other symptoms causing death are surfacing, like some originally asymptomatic-affected people in their twenties and thirties are having strokes due to their blood ‘sticking’ to artery walls. The studies are early but it appears the antibodies in their blood is successful in keeping the virus from attacking the respiratory system but the by product of dying C19 cells is a sticky sort of fat.
That would be something I'd have to pat attention to. I already have poor enough circulation that even just laying in bed in any position sometimes makes parts of my body go numb. I should look it up.
Rogue-Scribe

Zelphyr wrote:
Shadow-Ranger wrote:
Also, other symptoms causing death are surfacing, like some originally asymptomatic-affected people in their twenties and thirties are having strokes due to their blood ‘sticking’ to artery walls. The studies are early but it appears the antibodies in their blood is successful in keeping the virus from attacking the respiratory system but the by product of dying C19 cells is a sticky sort of fat.
That would be something I'd have to pat attention to. I already have poor enough circulation that even just laying in bed in any position sometimes makes parts of my body go numb. I should look it up.
I don't know what all there is out there in the public about it. My wife works for CSIRO so I get some leading edge news on some of the research going on.
Doing some googling, it looks like folks are beginning to gather information. It appears that they don't have enough of a sample size to confirm everything, at least not publicly available. All the more reason to avoid gatherings whenever possible, though, at least until we understand more!

eta: I missed a few posts between now and last time, and wanted to send some good thoughts. It's okay to have strong feelings--or no feelings. Our bodies and brain-meat cope with big changes in different ways. If anyone is interested in trying mindfulness meditation I'm happy to share some resources; sometimes it helps to have a voice coaching you through some easy breathing exercises, and it adds a tool to your kit for mental health.
i really like being at home, in some ways. of course i would rather that the world is without a pandemic but i almost consider myself lucky to not be at a worse state with my mental health due to the lockdown. i hate being outside, so i only go for a short walk once or twice a week. i talk to people (beside my family) when we have to do group projects in school and i’m not bored. i can easily find things to do or tv shows or movies to watch. i like not having to worry about the same amount of stuff as i usually do - so i find myself being less stressed
i have a lot of mood swings but i had those before the pandemic and it’s luckily not worse because of it
Not much to announce here, but I figured I'd bump this up in case someone needed it.
Rogue-Scribe

Things are opening up some around here, but clusters of positives are showing up here and there.

And back in Washington state, my son notified me that a good friend, old workmate and roommate passed away yesterday from complications crom C19.

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