Forums » Smalltalk » Bit of a rant here

What's everyone's problem with writing in 1st person?

Like, I legit don't understand.

Is it the devil? Did it kill your ancestors?

What? I don't get it.

Can someone enlighten me on why everyone hates it?

I get people refusing to RP with me because I don't use the narrative perspective THEY like. I don't like 3rd person. So what? I still RP with people who use it. I prefer 1st person so if you don't like it then don't even talk to me.

I'm trying to see why you don't like 3rd person...and the only answer I can think of that 3rd person POV is that it assumes that there's an outside source looking inwards? I'm not partial to 1st person only due to the fact that it doesn't work if one person rp's more than one person...

When I use 3rd person I can't really identify with my character as much as I like to. It's really as simple as that.

Everyone has different styles of writing. People who write in third person usually have a more descriptive and analytical approach to the story, whilst first person players usually focus more on emotion, and the senses of the character. Although this is not usually true, it tends to be the pattern among these types of RPers.

I personally think it is a beautiful thing to RP with someone who has a different style. Because we are embracing how others express their creativity, and we can learn from the varying language they use, and incorporate it into our own. First person RPiers can also use techniques third person RPers use, and vice versa.

Honestly, I don't agree that both RPers need to have the same style to enable them to RP. In fact, I strongly disagree. I have been RPing with so many people who use first person, and I manage just as perfectly as I would with someone else who writes in third.

Writing in first person does not mean the character is a self-insert, it just means (in theory, and if they do so well) that the player is more connected with the character's emotions and thoughts, therefore being able to work through them efficiently.

So yeah.

I tend to write in 3rd person as I feel it lends my posts a more narrative style. I have RP'd extensively in 1st person as well, however, and it's a style that definitely has it's upsides. Especially if the other person's character has some kind of telepathic ability, it can be a powerful storytelling device.

Ultimately, write in whichever style is more comfortable to you. 1st or 3rd. Or break space time and write in the 4th dimension.

I think why people tend to prefer third person (he, she, they) to first person (I, me, myself) is because first person might feel way too personal to use with their own characters. For some roleplayers, they prefer to properly separate their own characters from their heads and explore them without getting too attached to them. Other roleplayers just don't like the heightened possibility of their partner(s) assuming that what they say ICly is what they mean OOCly, so they use third person to maintain that IC=/=OOC boundary. And some people just like the fact that when two players write in one point of view, it reads like a story from one coherent viewpoint. Using two differing points of view can be outright jarring to some, and I understand that.

I won't lie and say that I'll ever use first person with any of my muses: my own muses are not me and I want to maintain that boundary between us, so I write in third person to reflect that. But I also don't mind playing with either point of view, so long as everyone recognizes that they are not their characters and manage to separate their feelings from it properly. At the end of the day, it's still just roleplay. Other players are more than happy to use first person, third person, even fifth or seventh person with me no matter what, as long as they are enjoying themselves and respecting other people.

I don't write in first person because I am not my character. Sounds like I'm stating the obvious there, but it still just doesn't appeal to me for that reason. I don't mind if other people rp that way though, as long as they don't expect me to write "you" like second person when posting towards them.

Writing is an art form. Writing in first, second, or third person is an art style and there are no right or wrong ways to express art. Writing in paragraph style or only stating one sentence is also an art style, but many roleplayers don't enjoy one liners. But why?

As for my personal experience between the various styles, I find second person to be widely fascinating. I would never write in second person, but I have read stories that swapped perspectives between two characters. It was such a wild series. I believe any style of writing can be done well. Whether or not someone dislikes it doesn't inherently make it bad art. This is a subjective matter after all.

I'm fine with it both ways. Normally I just adapt to how the other likes to rp. But the question is why people don't rp in the second person?

I'm not completely against people who write in first person, but I do find it pretty distracting. I don't often care much for books that do it, either. I'm not sure I could give a specific reason, it just feels weird to me, especially in an RP.

I think part of the problem is that I associate first person with conversational language, but in stories and RPs, it very, very rarely reads as something that someone would actually say. Basically, it feels like someone's trying to tell a story that is too practiced and fake?
Because then you're telling the other person what they're doing. That doesn't really work in RP.

I don't like first person, and I'll be honest and say that I, nine times out of ten, will not rp with someone who does first person.
The first reason has already been mentioned: it gets way too close to crossing the line between IC and OOC, and nobody wins when that happens. But Jay, not everyone will cross that line! Absolutely correct, but in my experience, statistically 100% of people who do FPRP will cross the line and cause drama, often publicly and very messily. Every single person I've rped with that does first person has lost it.

First person narrative is also intimate. I actually quite enjoy novels and stories written in first person, like some of the Reacher novels by Lee Child and many of Hunter S. Thompson's stories. Lee Child I think actually said that he writes some of the Reacher books in first person in order to increase the tension and suspense. Writing in first person puts the reader on the shoes of the character. I poured the drink, it turned to ash in my mouth. Theoretically great writing, the best ever in existence. But not exactly appropriate for rp. I, me, my... These are personal words. An rp isn't a one sided story, it's not a single perspective of a narrative. It's not less than two sides, often "competing" (even if the players are in perfect harmony, they are each telling only a slice of the whole story). If I'm playing, my focus is on the story, and not the characters, and "I" is me as a player, never my character and never, ever my partner's character. Using first person becomes the equivalent of an bad actor staring into the camera while delivering the scene.

Lastly it just seems sloppy. It's right there with l337 sp34k and *does actions like this*. To me it shows a lack of perspective and effort in rping itself. There's no such thing as a professional rper, we're all hobbyists, but we all want to be better writers. To use a shootimg sports analogy, someone writing in first person is like watching some go to the range on flip flops and shorts, hold a pistol sideways, take video of themselves(*), and then boast about themselves when their grouping is "only" 24 inches.

None of this is a "nice" answer, but unfortunately there's not a "nice" answer that is also honest and addresses the question fully. First person is all too often a warning sign that "you're gonna have a bad time, mmkay". I'm open for discussion, if you like, either here or in pm.

(*) I almost said "video taping". I'm getting old.

Because many people see RP as sort of a book. It is, really. I'd venture to say, that it ruins immersion for them. So it's a bit of a standoff as to who concedes, as your point is a valid one; You want to identify with your character. I suppose that, personally, it wouldn't bother me; I get all sorts who want to roleplay. Some of them don't speak the best English, either. As a GM, something I've only recently tried my hand at, I learned that I have to carry the mercy a lot of times, and simply put up with people's quirks if I want them to enjoy my game. After all, they're most likely putting up with mine, whether I know it or not.

Simply put, as long as everyone understands what is going on, and they are in character, and not acting as a player, then I'm totally fine with how they want to present their action; Even sloppily. The reason being that I have a lot of health issues that affect my typing. So unless I'm being very slow and careful, I probably sound like I'm drunk when OOC. Even this was painstakingly typed out, so I'm probably late to this conversation.

In regards to second person... well, I write in second person often when quickly throwing out a game mechanic, rather than a narrative piece. So you'll often find my RP peppered with long bits of decently written character interactions, and story, then a sudden dice roll, and a, "You succeed in doing this..." rather than, "Character succeeds in doing this".

All in all, you can't change what people want. Not just how they prefer their narrative presented, but the very fiction they consume. Some people don't like first person narrative in RP, just as much as some people don't like sci-fi in RP. I used to take dislike of my setting ideas personally, then I realized I was in a very small group, and should probably expand if I wanted more like-minded players. That's how I ended up here; I literally just got here today.

I personally write in 3rd person, and that's fine for me. While I can understand not liking either POV because they both have their ups and downs I think that perhaps the problem lies in that for a lot of people it is hard to switch between the two from reading to writing. But who's to say for sure as it's a case by case bases.

I am sorry that you have a lot of experiences that seem to have been upsetting as far as people refusing to play because of the POV used I will say that in the end it's probably for the best. If only because it sounds as if you weren't enjoying their 3rd person either. (No judgment here.)

Sometimes people have had bad experiences with other players who have had that style of RP, other times people just like what they like. You can never really change that and whether or not you do the courtesy of looking past something that is not to your taste doesn't mean they can. Personally I think that communication is key. When you are looking for games or other players to write with let them know ahead of time what to expect and maybe even that you are looking for other writers that play in 1st to stop the negative feelings of being 'put down' in regards to your chosen style. We can't all write with everyone, more often than not in my experience, things can go wrong and not work out. But the point is you tried, you did your best and never to take it personally. However hard that is.

Thank you, everyone for enlightening me on your opinions on this topic.

Of course the post I made that wasn't LFRP is going to be the one that gets the most replies...

So it may look like I was bashing third person narrative from the way I worded it. I wasn't. I had an English exam this Tuesday where I wrote a sort about my character Sarobando. It was in third person. And I think it was very good.

You have to understand that when I wrote this post, I was really angry about people just straight up not even giving me or first person a chance.

It could be confusing to some people when I say I can write very well in all narrative perspectives, because people who can do that will generally use third person. But I use first. The reason for this is simple really. (And a little sad I guess)

I use first person, because I don't like myself or my life. I use RP as escapism. If you look carefully, or if you RP with several of my characters, you'll notice that they have very differing personalities, but they have a few similarities or things that are exactly the same. That's because I base them all loosely off of myself. So for example... Finn is terrified of girls and is very shy when talking to them. This is similar to Danas and Menedor. Danas isn't scared to the point of trying to avoid them, but he won't talk to a woman if he doesn't have to. Whereas Menedor isn't scared of girls as a whole, but can become very shy around them.

So the point I'm making my way to is that (this is going to be really edgy but hey ho might as well say it) I don't like me. I make characters based off of myself and turned up to eleven... Thousand. (See Yuvithnah.) I use said characters to escape being me for awhile and to be them instead.

And what it boils down to is this. Can I use third person to do that? No. Can I use first person to do that? Yes. So am I going to refuse to RP in third person when someone suggests/asks/tells me to? Absolutely 100% every time.

All well and good as everyone RP's for their own reason. It can be argued that there is a piece of every player in their characters, even if the character is nothing like them, seeing as they came from their own head in one way or another. It is why when someone doesn't like a character or a style of play this can be a touch personal. We aren't dealing with solely critique of expository writing but what can feel like a true judgment, something that begins to harbor the potential of being quite hurtful.

There is no right or wrong way to RP, some people like one thing, some like other things. And every single player has the potential to create amazing stories that suit their personal needs and desires in gaming, no matter the style that they choose be it 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 124th... (IDK what that would be...) To narrate internal monologue in long paragraphs or keep things short and concise and all other manor of things between.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to 'live through your character' as long as IC and OOC are never confused. But I don't think that it's a judgment on you as a player or on your characters because someone can't handle 1st person. It's just the way they are. Some people like popcorn, others can's stand the stuff.

I DO think that 3rd person can do the same thing, but maybe just not for you. I feel very close to my characters and in their heads when I play and always play in 3rd, and there is nothing wrong with either option. Just personal taste. You shouldn't feel the need to bend or be pressured to bending to what other players like. I stick by simply being upfront and honest when looking for games. A lot of people include that 'posts must be in the 3rd person,' you could do the same but for 1st. Or, if you don't mind it, just include a note that states 'this is how I play, if it bugs you please don't ask to game.' Direct and to the point but not offensive to anyone. In the end you aren't losing out on play that you would have had. Free to be the you in fantasy that you want to be without the hangups of personal style getting in the way. IMHO

After looking over the information, I think that this line is the centerpiece of this thread. However, I have noticed that you do not include any preference to writing style in your most recent LFRP post. Your frustration may be caused by a lack of rules/boundaries in your posts.

If you create the terms in regards to writing style by stating that you will be writing in 1st person, then those who are averse to first person wouldn't become an issue, as they wouldn't respond to such advertisements. The RPR has basic and necessary guidelines built in and they can be found by checking the "Include genre information" box below the post.

A clear example of these writing rules can be found on other posts.

-No on-liners, 2-3+ Paragraphs. No less.
-Story driven RP
-Interracial/Interspecies
-Forbidden Romance
-No Dom/Sub
-No violence (Rape, abuse, slavery etc.)

This example states clearly that the writer doesn't want to include violence and the writer will not have problems with others writing violent content in their story, because they have created clear boundaries in their LFRP post. Writers who write one line of text will not respond to this post, as it is stated that that particular style will not be accepted.

Ranting is good to release tension, but identifying the problem and creating a solution will lessen the need to rant.

"You have to understand that when I wrote this post, I was really angry"



I don't think logically when I'm angry.


Or at all really.

My common sense level is about -7



Quite simply, I'm a total stupid idiot lmao.

And it really annoys me that I am.

I do understand and I would very much like to help you form a solution that is mutually beneficial for you and other writers. I do not write to berate, but merely to present facts and a possible solution.

For me, it makes things way too personal. I like to keep my distance.

I don't like RPing in first person because it feels too personal. That's just my preference, and many people's preference. Just like your preference is to RP in first person. Of course someone is going to refuse to RP with you because you don't RP third person, just you would refuse to RP with someone because they don't RP first person.

I am not my character, and even while writing in third person, in the past I struggled with escapism, and getting too attached to my characters. I had to leave RPR for about 10 months to find myself, my life, become happier, and healthier, because I started to feel like I was living my life on RPR and not in real life. I had no real life. I had stopped thinking about becoming an author, I was on the computer constantly, getting barely any sleep, and I was very depressed and numb at the same time.

So for my writing in first person is too uncomfortable. I've managed to balance my real life with RP, and I have restrictions in place and rules for myself. I only post after I've worked on my book at least two hours a day, and I have done other important things around the house; and have managed to get to a happier and healthier place with RP; and even though I can write in first person, and do occasionally for my stories, I am too afraid if I started writing in first person in RP I would back pedal in my recovery.