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"First you need to empty said body of water with a bucket, if it's the sea you wanna breath under you may need a few trips before finally emptying it. Once thats's clear you just hop in and breathe normally before letting all that water flow back in. If it doesnt work as a fish for directions."


"Ok serious question here. If you enter a pub...not your regular one, but one made for giant patrons. Do I use regular money to pay the bill or do I need a huge one?"

"It's simple," Eleanor began, like she was going to give a proper answer. "You-"
Her sclera darkened, suddenly (and somewhat uncharacteristically) drawing a raygun from her back pocket. "You take the gun, stick it up against their head, and pull the trigger!"


"We've been looking for a place to fuel up our ship. Can you point us in the right direction?"

“…Well…how about one of the moons?”

“Anyone know where I can find a disused dance studio? Preferably with an uncracked mirror…”

If I were you, I would try the ToysRUs down the road. Come on, when is ToysRUs not a reliable source?

How many toes does a hippo have? What about a rhino?

"At least one, that I'm sure of " Dust said, "though where would one find a friend?"

"INSIDE A BANK'S VAULT! They even help you carry your luggage!"


"Whats the best postal service to ship yourself?"

"Obviously shipping myself to myself. Postal is in the name." he said, seeming to take pride in his gross trench coat with a smiley pin, and his stench of crack.

"What is the best way to skin a cat?"

"You need to consult a specialist to get your roof fixed"

"Where did this cat come from?"

slams a slice of cheese down. "C h e e s e ."

"How was memes invented?"

"By being original," he grins.

"What is a teacher's worst nightmare?"

"Patches found some caaanndy!" They had their arm curled around the stick of a rainbow-swirled lollipop. "New-Friend can have iiit."


"What's the best way to play Hide and Seek?"

"Hmm... This is a funny one but the best way to play hide and seek is ABSOLUTELY not hiding." Peanut then snickers.

"What's the best way to deliver mail btw?"

"Blast it straight through their roof. They won't forget to get it once they see the giant hole the blast made!"

"How do you best handle someone criticizing you?"

You turn them into a peanut. How else?

Where does chocolate come from?

"I saw a dog get stuffed in a hole. It wasn't a good one. It was not at all damp. It was very sad." Charlie sighed, slime more liquidity dripped from his eyes. He then sucked it back into his eyes and brightened.

"Why are we all gonna turn to dust?"

(Bold of you to say that because this character's name is Peanut )

"I could have sworn I had you taken care of," Jim hummed idly. "I'm going to have to have a talk with Seb. I re-heh-ally hate having to have these talks. He knows the rules about second chances, buuuuuut he does have that damned get-out-of-jail-free card he keeps hanging over my head, the prick. Well, lucky him..."

"Now," the criminal mastermind brought his hands together as though he were about to discuss matters of great importance. "You've come to me for advice, have you? If you are aware of my terms, praytell, how can I be of service?"

"Well, you can start being of service by picking up the broom and sweeping up the library! There are seventeen children under my care, and none of them are helping me and Rorlenoux around the house! But do they all turn their heads around when they're hungry, ohhhh, they do! And do I have any time to do my scholarly upkeep between cooking dinner for all of them and working? No! My hands are full." Cue a very long string of complaints that he and his husband are the only ones that get anything done around this house.

"You!" He pointed to the next person. "What's the current price for a bag of cherries at the nearest market? I need to make a pie!"

"100k dollars per cherry" He said "What do I do when I get an apple?"