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Friend zone

"Kissing is gross, killing is against the law, so I guess I'm just gonna have to friend-zone ya! Wanna go get some crust bits together? I know a place!"

"Friend zone." Adam stated, smiling atvthe other.

Friends~! I think my life might be a little exciting for your tastes, ehehe. Not too much to catch a movie or get a coffee sometime though.

"Let me get this straight," Harrison began. "You swallow grown-ass men whole?! Hell, no! I'd like to plead the second, please!"

*-ka-click!-*

“As… do I.” The creature rasped out as it approached Noah, visibly salivating. It’s hinged mouth opened, a twisted grin crossing it’s features. “K…ill.”

"Could you ssspare a little fun for me, friend?" The monster raises its head. A black forked tongue slithers between its shark-like teeth. "I want a piece of that fat, belligerent bassstard myself."

Vincent's down to vibe in the friend-zone with another toothy abomination.

“Another man-eater? I’m ok with this.”

Friend-zone

"Wow, a lot of you here like eatin' people as much as I do! It's always nice to have somebody around that shares the same interests. Mind if I call you my friend, doll?"

The news couldn't be more hilarious. Somehow, his favorite victim has managed to gain the attention of not two, not three, but four different man-eaters just by shooting one. Tragic irony at his finest.

Nature would do the rest. Lynx blew them a kiss before leaving the chewtoy to his fate.

Cadmos, another maneater, watched with quiet amusement. "Let's put your reign of terror over my fellow maneaters to an end." Kill.

"Let's see how long you can last against my zippers. Sticky Fingers!" Kill.

...'3' I don't believe in killing people, so I guess I'll have to... friend?

"A maiden that eats man?" The President stares at Mallory, mortified. "This beast will not be tolerated on American Soil! D4C!" A blue rabbit-like ghost would emerge from his body, as it delivers a fatal blow to the girl, breaking her scapula and splitting her open like a fish. Kill.

Aahnik looked at the man with pure disgust. "What is it with people and killing things that they assume don't belong." Hoping to teach the man, and other selfish people, a lesson, he decapitated the man before turning away. Kill.

“Well, you see, to each their own in their own lands…and unfortunately in mine, murder is quite illegal, and as such.” Kill

Gregory Lestrade looked utterly appalled by the sights and accusations flying around him. It was a veritable bloodbath in the making, and he felt obligated to intervene despite the fact that he was severely outnumbered.

"None of that, the lot of you!" he shouted, making a wide, gesticulative motion for everyone to fall in line. "You're all bloody friend-zoned and no one is killing anyone!"

"I know you just friend zoned everyone, but I really would enjoy a kiss."

"Hm... I would rather see you dead that loveless" he said. "I prefer women, and it's not like anyway missed you anyway"

...I'll be friends with you if for no other reason than that I'd like to know if my abilities are going to get me sent to your realm when I die. I never use them for evil, but a lot of people up here on the surface probably don't think it matters...